Voting has reset for the month of December. Valucre is in the top 10 but we need to be in the top 3 if we want visitors to the topsite to see us the moment they land on the home page. So if you want to help new members discover Valucre, then vote for us daily.

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    • supernal

      Vote for Valucre [January]   01/01/2017

      Voting for the month of January is open on TopRPSites! Vote for Valucre daily and help new members searching for a place to roleplay discover the same joys you have in Valucre. You can vote daily, so make voting for Valucre a habit. Discussion thread

Fae

Members
  • Content count

    739
  • Joined

  • Last visited

6 Followers

About Fae

  • Rank
    Aficionado
  • Birthday 03/12/1992

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Non-Binary / Agender
  • Location
    Tulsa, OK
  • Interests
    Tabletop RP, Play-by-Post RP, Cats (Adore is more accurate than interested), World Lore (A near encyclopedic knowledge of it), Reading
  • Occupation
    Content Writer

Recent Profile Visitors

1,742 profile views
  1. I am so in love with this album right now. So many songs just played at the perfect time for me... Fate is hard to ignore when you have so many deaths to own.
  2. I'm sorry this scene is one of my favourites and your comment reminded me of it >~<
  3. Eh... American tea. EH, I SAY. ~Realizes that tea cup is empty and goes to brew more~
  4. @Metty the Cutiefly If you're still interested in helping to develop a city within Genesaris, Illumad is always open to loving attention. I'd be more then happy to share details already worked out, plans I was looking at, listen to ideas for development and work alongside you on all of it. PM me if that sounds good, yeah?
  5. I confess that anything in a jar is nearly always instant defeat for me. My hands are small and my grip strength is absolutely minimal (Thanks nerve issues!) and so things like GODS BE DAMNED SALSA... Are a little infuriating.
  6. https://rolz.org/ Another dice roller for those inclined to use them. Can create separate dice rooms for different occasions and even lock them to password use. Also has embed codes for forum use.
  7. 1 vote! We've totally got this Val lovelies! ~Brings out the beers and beer alternatives~
  8. 11 votes to 2nd. We can do 11 easy... Vote you beautiful people!
  9. Major pet peeve of mine? "Would have, could have, should have" If you're thinking of doing something, JUST DO IT. And if you don't and someone else does it for you, or beats you to it, or something else applicable? Don't bitch, whine, or complain that it was done in your stead. You had an opportunity and squandered it. That's no one else’s fault but your own. ~Bristles at unnecessary irritability~
  10. I just stumbled onto this and it's beyond perfect... So I think I need to share.
  11. I've been struggling a lot with loneliness as of late... Feeling even more isolated then I was... Even while being wholly and completely alone on the streets/from couch to couch. I don't know how to handle having a home. I struggle to call it so, even though I'm legally a resident here and everytime I mention this, one or the other reminds me that it is... And I hate myself for saying it but I can't help but to reply "I know, but I still don't know how to make it feel like home." I've tried to put my confidence in others... To give myself the opportunity to do what I do best and take care of others. To love and be attentive to people in need. I'm an empath and sometimes the only way I know how to breath is to immerse myself in another. This always seems to bite me in the ass however and it nearly always ends with my heart aching. It's a double edged sword I keep hoping to escape. And now, at this very moment, I find myself unable to express how left out I feel... Because I don't have the ability to enjoy the things that my friends are. And I think I've found out why I have trouble understanding the people I'm drawn to and it's because the people I'm drawn to are never those who lack in material things. I think it's a subtle jealously... Or maybe it's a sub-concsious pull to eventually make my way to that sort of life. Either way I hurt. I hurt because it's another silly reminder that I'm not... Whole. And I know it's absurd. I know that having things doesn't make one happy or settled or anything of that nature, but it's been such a hard reminder that I went for so, so, SO long without... And now I'm somewhere stable and I still don't have... And I want. And it's conflicting and it makes me anxious and I just want to curl up and cry because I keep coming back to being alone... I don't know anymore. I'm conflicted. I'm a ball of angry energy. An anxiety ridden mess. And I feel like no one wants me because I can't spend time with them in the places they are. I hate it. I hate this. I hate feeling like this and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I don't know why or how or anything that makes sense. I just don't know. And I hate not knowing.
  12. BPD Borderline Personality Disorder A disorder characterized by unstable moods, behaviours, and relationships. Most days it feels more like Broken Person Disorder. I’m not expected to be sane. Lash out when things become too extreme and actively consider self-harm and suicide… And I’d be lying if I told you I could understand it, That I had come to complete and total terms with it, That I had some semblance of a handle on it. Because I don’t… I never really have. I’ve just fought myself hard enough to make me numb to the self loathing and slipping sanity. I’m crying while writing this. Aching and dying while shoving everything deeper into the depths of my head. Have music blaring to drown out the chorus of voices that tell me how worthless I am. Crave attention but force those who love me far, far away. I’m fractured. Frail. Enamoured but so fucked up no one will find a way to make it work. You say you love me but won’t push me to stay. This is rejection.. This is my disorders way of digging in and setting my mind ablaze. I’m screaming and biting my fingers, drawing blood and throwing up. I’m an emotional train wreck murdering logical reasoning. Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck everything. Ad nauseam. But gods do I wish you’d hold me. To cradle me in your arms and tell me that I am WRONG. That I am priceless and that you’d be lost without me in your home… I ache for heart and I ache for love and I pine for every attention because I need help… Please, for the love of everything that is right, HELP ME. LOVE ME. SEE ME. Give me a reason to override everything to know what I mean to you. Because I am so incredibly gorgeous with all my jagged edges… A thousand words rushing through... Waves of endless negativity. Chaos incarnate. Hatred embedded. I am exhausted and I can’t do this alone… This is BPD.
  13. I confess that I find most information about Borderline Personality Disorder extremely disheartening... If I were to believe the internet, I would find myself wondering if I were ever worth pursuing at all. There is a proportionally higher negative stigma associated with it then I believe is fair... And it genuinely hurts to read. I'm not a bad person and I deserve to be fought for and loved just like everyone else... I have to believe that... Because if I don't, who will?
  14. One more vote until we're tied for 3rd!
  15. I confess I have a VERY intense phobia of spiders. When stressed, for whatever reason, I have waking night terrors where I scream and flail out of dead sleep, about spiders... This screaming and waking just happened. ;-;