Minstrel's limericks and poetry

[Archival]

There was a timid girl named Lunadrakla
Who's really a party animal high on Kahlua
When the disco ball turns full moon
Her Razarth and Zyphia will swoon
Chugging on Coors Light like some lunar dracula.

[Archival]

There was a celestial warrior named Eschaton
Who remains pristine beneath her exoskeleton
Which to the end of time inspires men
To break her armour before new Eden
And pierce by lance at last her maidenly escutcheon.

[Archival]

There was a belligerent bella named Bellanox
Whose hellish fury may subside with the equinox
But on any given solstice
Most obnoxious are her cruelties
Performed inside a torture chamber tighter than Fort Knox.

[Nox]

Love it, Archi!

[mrmeowmeow9]

Love this! I'm not much of a Limerick writer, nor rhymes, but I do write a bit of poetry. This is great.

[Archival]

There was a delicious girl named vasanti
Who drops jaws on the beach in her string bikini
All now want to canoodle
With hot saucy Miss Noodle
As she jaunts in her two-piece made of sphagettini

[Modulation]

There once was a humble writer named Archival,
Whose thoughts and rhymes were quite satirical.
He swiped with his pen,
And got smacked again,
For ladies don't like bikinis to be quizzical.

[Modulation]

Never give up the fight…
Gonna suffer if you do…
Give it your all,
You will never fall,
Up in the sky is your cue.

Never leave your comrades…
Gonna suffer if you do…
Let nobody fall,
You know that dark hall,
Down with the demons, feeling pain anew.

Never lose your faith…
Gonna suffer if you do…
Turn it into your blade,
Around you, evils will fade,
And glories of your name will ensue.

Desert nobody, practice your art…
You will always have friends in your heart.

Spoiler:

Check the first word of every line. TROLLOLOLOLOL. Don't tell ANYONE about the joke - let them read for themselves. :3

[Archival]

There once was a man named Bertold
Who drank beer when the weather grew cold
As he reached for his cup
"NEEEEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP!!!"
Oh, snap! You just got limerickrolled!



(Not mine. Anonymous.)

[Archival]

There was a femme fatale named Redemption
Who commits feline felonies with style and gumption
A cat burglar after your precious items
Prancing on rooftops with stolen gems
Depriving men of jewels—and hearts—without exemption

[Archival]

There was an Arkadian man named Lord Kilos
Who Frankly was the sexiest of all gigolos
Hounding women into his kinky bus
He incubates them like an incubus
Before spitting them out like they were mere candyfloss

[Archival]

There was a sky pirate named Long John Silver
Who oozes aplomb smoother than quicksilver
With his Dangling Captain’s log
He sends wenches all agog
As they shiver o’er his timber with many a quiver

[Archival]

There was a friendly Outreach named Cordeliane
Who performs her job like a cordial chatelaine
But she’s more stubborn than funfun
Not bending over for anyone
Except when she plays chamber maid to the chamberlain

[Archival]

There was a noble gentleman named Isolate
Who from a heartbreak was so disconsolate
But he recovered after a year
Returning to Val without fear
Ready to confront his former gay lover desolate

[Archival]

There was a mercenary named Hamster Ninja
Who became a Samurai after visiting Discordia
Wielding a weapon with six strings
Speaking in lyrics sang by kings
But mellowing out in Modulation after riding Chelonia