danzilla3

The continents are now fruits. Pearrenus / Lagrimango, Cherrysaris, Kiwierno, Nehalemon, Faerjagrape.

I'm blown away by all the messages of support you guys left. Thank you so much. 

Apologies for slowed posting speed. I'm not doing very well right now, and it's affecting my writing. Rest assured, I've no intention of leaving. Just might be slower going for awhile.
Sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies for slowed posting speed. I'm not doing very well right now, and it's affecting my writing. Rest assured, I've no intention of leaving. Just might be slower going for awhile.
Sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies for slowed posting speed. I'm not doing very well right now, and it's affecting my writing. Rest assured, I've no intention of leaving. Just might be slower going for awhile.
Sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies for slowed posting speed. I'm not doing very well right now, and it's affecting my writing. Rest assured, I've no intention of leaving. Just might be slower going for awhile.
Sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies for slowed posting speed. I'm not doing very well right now, and it's affecting my writing. Rest assured, I've no intention of leaving. Just might be slower going for awhile.
Sorry for any inconvenience.

Apologies to everyone:
Coming soon will be a large egress from most if not all the threads I am in. I am stretching myself thin. Making myself unhappy by trying to be in too many stories. I need to heed some advice... and do my own stories. Instead of just starting and joining enmasse hoping one sticks and is good.
 
i am unsure of what im dropping and keeping.
I am unsure of what method i'll be using, it could be a simple OOC post, it could be a flashy exit... I have not decided.
I am even unsure of how to mitigate my massive dependency on the approval and admiration of others.
one step at a time.

Eliza just crawled for the first time and I'm so thankful I wasn't at work when it happened. 😭😭

There is a new Mortal Kombat movie coming out in April. My body is ready.

PUPPERS IS GOOD. 🍾

Pup's heading in for a procedure tomorrow.  I'll probably be out of pocket, or at least reduced, for tomorrow through Friday, mainly due to exhaustion.  Wish us luck!
Edit: note that this means I'll be running a few days late on everything until I can catch up.  Please be patient 🙂

Hello.

Kids grow up so fast. 😭😭

ME: I'm gonna write some posts!
KEYBOARD: Well that's not gonna fly, you little shit.
And then it took me thirty minutes to make it work again. True story.

ME: I'm gonna write some posts!
KEYBOARD: Well that's not gonna fly, you little shit.
And then it took me thirty minutes to make it work again. True story.

I've got some side-work today and tomorrow to help pay my pups astronomical vet bills, so I'll be a little laggy this weekend, but will work to catch up 🙂

Me after submitting my last school requirement for the semester--

I'm back on Val!
What that means remains to be seen but at the very least I'll be manning the TOL again.
More commission slots opening soon - feel free to remind me if you've reserved one last year and I said I'd put you on the queue. For now I'm going to set my sketchpad on a mini-easel and aggressively paint landscapes until the stress of 2020 drains out onto the paper. 😗✌️ 

How are you, old friend?

I'll be MIA tomorrow, back to regular schedule on Friday evening!

Status update: I have returned from holiday madness-times, but still iffy on the mental health front. Have two half-written posts, so expect replies in the next couple of days.  To those of you that have been waiting patiently for replies or commission updates, I really appreciate your understanding. ❤️  @King @danzilla3 @-Lilium-

When it comes to love, men have an active role while women have a passive one. What are the implications of this? It means that what a woman feels as the ups and downs, the mystery, the unknown, the excitement, etc., all things that define "blossoming" love, are things that happen to her. She is passive, she is the recipient. Her agency is contained in her response to those things. 

But for a man, anything that makes "love" progress (or regress) basically and directly stems from one of his actions. He does something or initiates and a woman responds/reciprocates. Because he does not have the gendered luxury of taking a backseat or passive role and watching things happen (if he does, nothing will; the woman will lose interest), he begins, by necessity, to view love as the cause and effect relationship that it more accurate is in reality (he does something, woman responds.)

Seeing something like that this takes the "magic" out of it. Compare it to seeing the sun rise every day. It becomes a lot less mystical, exciting, and dramatic when you know exactly why it happens and can simply see it for the cause and effect relationship it truly is. You may even begin to take it for granted. 

This is why romance eventually becomes unromantic for men. Romance is not a phenomenon, but instead a verb; it's a series of actions carried out by a man to earn a woman's affections. It is labor. 

Men who aren't used to being pursued are usually confused or thrown off by the reversal of gendered roles. The result is the prevailing idea that men do not respond well to being approached first by women or even biographical accounts from men describing instances where they couldn't respond well even if they were attracted to the woman approaching them. This is the men being shocked out of the traditional script of romance. 

When you talk about women pursuing men, that usually happens in a markedly different fashion than the way in which men pursue women. A woman "aggressively" pursuing a man looks more like said woman going to extensive lengths to make it clear that she is available for pursuit rather than actively pursuing; the man is still usually leading things forward in some manner by handling the logistics of this romance. 

The Male Romantic Fantasy 

I would say that men usually feel most loved when this normal state of affairs is negated; when they are made to believe that a woman's love is not conditional in the cause-and-effect manner described above. Love is work for men, but it can be rewarding work when things are going smoothly and the woman is happy as a result. But the male romantic fantasy is to be shown that the woman feels the same way and stands by him when he's down on his luck, when the money is not there, or when he's not feeling confident. He wants to know that the love he believes he's earned will stay even when the actions that feed it wane (however temporarily). A good woman can often lift a man up in his times of need and desperation and weather the storm even when things are not going well. The male romantic fantasy is an enduring and unconditional love that seems to defy this relationship of labor and reward. A man wants to be loved for who he is, not for what he does in order to be loved. 

An interesting way to examine this is to look at what women often call romantic entitlement. An entitled man is a guy who maintains an unrealistic notion of men's typically active role in love. Before acknowledging reality, this man uncompromisingly believes that he shouldn't have to do anything or change anything about himself to earn a woman's love; he wants to be loved for who he is, not what he does. 

All men secretly want this, but there comes a day when they eventually compromise out of necessity. After that day, they may spend years honing themselves, working, shaping themselves into the men they believe women want to be chosen by. A massive part of what causes boys to "grow up" is the realization that being loved requires hard work. This impetus begins a journey where a boy grows into a man by gaining strength, knowledge, recourses, and wisdom. The harsh realities of the world might harden and change him into a person his boyhood self wouldn't recognize. He might adopt viewpoints he doesn't agree with, transgress his personal boundaries, or commit acts he previously thought himself incapable of. But ultimately, the goal is to feel as if his work is done. 

When he can finally let go of the crank he turns day after day in order to earn love and, even if only for a moment, it turns by itself to nourish him in return, that is when he will know he is loved. 

I have to admit, this year the holidays feel somewhat perfunctory; a box ticking exercise that we have to do before we can move on to the new year. 2020 has been a brutal, disemboweling nightmare. Many of us just want it to be over so we can be cautiously optimistic about 2021. 
Yet through the horror and misery of this year, Valucre has been a refuge for me. Writing here is like escaping to another world; and has often been a much-needed break from real life. More than that, I have found a community here that I deeply value. On this forum, people know me, many of them seem to like me, and at least a few respect me. I am incredibly grateful to be able to share this hobby with such a wonderful group of people. 
No one can know for sure that the coming year will be any better than the one that is rapidly approaching its end. Despite this, I find myself filled with hope for the future. As we march forward, I am proud to be a part of this community, and I look forward to writing with you all in the new year.
Merry Christmas.

I have to admit, this year the holidays feel somewhat perfunctory; a box ticking exercise that we have to do before we can move on to the new year. 2020 has been a brutal, disemboweling nightmare. Many of us just want it to be over so we can be cautiously optimistic about 2021. 
Yet through the horror and misery of this year, Valucre has been a refuge for me. Writing here is like escaping to another world; and has often been a much-needed break from real life. More than that, I have found a community here that I deeply value. On this forum, people know me, many of them seem to like me, and at least a few respect me. I am incredibly grateful to be able to share this hobby with such a wonderful group of people. 
No one can know for sure that the coming year will be any better than the one that is rapidly approaching its end. Despite this, I find myself filled with hope for the future. As we march forward, I am proud to be a part of this community, and I look forward to writing with you all in the new year.
Merry Christmas.

I have to admit, this year the holidays feel somewhat perfunctory; a box ticking exercise that we have to do before we can move on to the new year. 2020 has been a brutal, disemboweling nightmare. Many of us just want it to be over so we can be cautiously optimistic about 2021. 
Yet through the horror and misery of this year, Valucre has been a refuge for me. Writing here is like escaping to another world; and has often been a much-needed break from real life. More than that, I have found a community here that I deeply value. On this forum, people know me, many of them seem to like me, and at least a few respect me. I am incredibly grateful to be able to share this hobby with such a wonderful group of people. 
No one can know for sure that the coming year will be any better than the one that is rapidly approaching its end. Despite this, I find myself filled with hope for the future. As we march forward, I am proud to be a part of this community, and I look forward to writing with you all in the new year.
Merry Christmas.