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Tyler

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  1. Sad
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Bloodsport (Nightmare Descends 2:3A)   
    Despite a momentary victory over the centaurs threatening the squad leader, the remnants of the Norkotian forces were in little position to be able to fight the next wave of attacks. Jack was just getting to his feet when the charging centaurs loosed their arrows toward him. He was about to try and move out of the way on his own, when a sudden impact hurled him out of the way, while the sound of the arrows striking something thick and soft could be heard. Even as he was falling to the dust, Murray turned to look, finding that the young engineer that was tagging along with Chief had dove into him at the last moment. The action pushed Murray out of the line-of-fire, but as a result, the poor kid took all the arrows himself.
    Time seemed to slow for a moment as both men hit the ground, while Chief, standing just off to the side with his mouth gaping open in shock, finally stirred himself enough to run over. Murray likewise got up and tried to quickly load and fire some shorts at the Centaurs, driving them away at least momentarily. He then joined Chief in crouching over the youth.
    "Damn it son, whadd'ya do that for?" Chief asked.
    "Was... out of bullets..." the young engineer coughed, blood running from his lip, "Sorry chief, I..."
    He stopped, his eyes remaining wide open while his mouth seemed to freeze mid-sentence. There he lie, silent and still, death having come relatively quickly thanks to the four well-aimed shafts penetrating his vital organs in his chest.
    "This is starting to piss me off," Murray growled, rising to his feet and reloading his revolvers, "Reload your weapons, engineer, we're not out of this yet."
     
  2. Like
    Tyler got a reaction from P.N.See in Bloodsport (Nightmare Descends 2:3A)   
    Despite a momentary victory over the centaurs threatening the squad leader, the remnants of the Norkotian forces were in little position to be able to fight the next wave of attacks. Jack was just getting to his feet when the charging centaurs loosed their arrows toward him. He was about to try and move out of the way on his own, when a sudden impact hurled him out of the way, while the sound of the arrows striking something thick and soft could be heard. Even as he was falling to the dust, Murray turned to look, finding that the young engineer that was tagging along with Chief had dove into him at the last moment. The action pushed Murray out of the line-of-fire, but as a result, the poor kid took all the arrows himself.
    Time seemed to slow for a moment as both men hit the ground, while Chief, standing just off to the side with his mouth gaping open in shock, finally stirred himself enough to run over. Murray likewise got up and tried to quickly load and fire some shorts at the Centaurs, driving them away at least momentarily. He then joined Chief in crouching over the youth.
    "Damn it son, whadd'ya do that for?" Chief asked.
    "Was... out of bullets..." the young engineer coughed, blood running from his lip, "Sorry chief, I..."
    He stopped, his eyes remaining wide open while his mouth seemed to freeze mid-sentence. There he lie, silent and still, death having come relatively quickly thanks to the four well-aimed shafts penetrating his vital organs in his chest.
    "This is starting to piss me off," Murray growled, rising to his feet and reloading his revolvers, "Reload your weapons, engineer, we're not out of this yet."
     
  3. Superlike!
    Tyler got a reaction from Thotification in A Crowning Achievement [Artifact]   
    Shane smiled slightly, not much caring about what kind of coat it was, just that it was something warm she could put on to shield herself from the cold, high-altitude temperatures. She immediately stood up and put it on, then sat back down. After a moment of restless thought, she got up again and followed Linda below deck. She felt she needed to thank her again, but more than that, she desperately wanted the company of someone who was not just trying to use her. Shane wasn't sure what the white-haired woman's deal was, but she seemed far kinder and more concerned with her well-being than anyone else on the ship did, or even anyone among the pirates, scavengers or cultists that made up her previous social circles.
    "Uh... hello? Hey, I just... wanted to thank you... again," Shane said into the lower room as she descended into it.
    * * *
    "Who is she, anyway?" Abigail asked Holly, having taken note of, though not commented on, Lady's Sheathe's remarks about gods and hunting them, "She does not carry herself like a servant of yours."
    She took another sip of tea, carefully measured and done while at the same time observing Holly's body language as the woman responded.
  4. Haha
    Tyler got a reaction from supernal in Grumble.crk   
    Jack Murray
    @HandsomeJackMurray • 1 second ago yimmy rilly pissin me off REPLY GRUMBLE LIKE SHARE
  5. Haha
    Tyler got a reaction from Thotification in A Crowning Achievement [Artifact]   
    Shane looked up at Linda as she walked away, uttering a soft "thank you" as the white-haired woman vanished again into the cabin. She wasn't sure what to make of that whole "dying more times that she could count" thing, which left her just assuming that she was being messed with and that really, there was no way back at this point. 
    Letting out a light sigh, her green eyes slowly turned and centered on the wrapped package that Linda had left with her. Apparently it was meant for her, though she hesitated in uncertainty for a second. After shivering a moment or two in the cold, she finally reached out and pulled it too herself, then began removing the wrapping to see what was inside.
    * * *
    "Yes, I remember Ilyana, I didn't realize she was your friend," Abigail stated, "My sympathies."
    The marine finally brought them their tea and coffee respectively, and Abigail didn't talk for a moment as she sip from her cup.
    "But yes, resolve is ones greatest asset. Even if all things align against you, your unwavering perseverance will still pull through. My father would have had me married off to one of his squires while my degenerate half-brother became duke, if he had his way. I was not about to just let that happen."
    She took a casual sip of tea, noting to herself that it may sound suspicious that she seemed to claim responsibility for why her brother was not duke, when ostensibly the boy's death was due to a random pirate raid.
    "Though sometimes you just have to be ready when outside forces unexpectedly aid you, of course," she added casually.
  6. Haha
    Tyler reacted to Csl in Valucre humor (and memes) thread   
    tag yourself I'm both

  7. Haha
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Meanwhile...

    Damn it, Thor.
  8. Like
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    I only know of Ben 10, but know almost nothing else about it other than I think it's a cartoon about high-schoolers that involves science fiction?
    But anyway, so you're saying "warp reality at his will", but that's very very vague. Is he like, literally god where in an instant he can say (as Supes puts it) "Now the planet is a flying turtle!" and BOOM, the world is a flying turtle. Or is it like how Scarlet Witch has it where it's more... well honestly Scarlet Witch's powers are more like highly advanced Force (from Star Wars) powers, namely telekinesis and mind-affecting telepathy. Those are powerful, and can technically be considered "reality warping", though they could technically be achieved through other magical or even scientific means as well. 
    It's a question of if you are leaving it open so he can do "any and all of the above", or if he uses it a specific way, and it is also worth asking yourself how much he can use it and to what extent. Can he just lift a pen with telekinesis? Or can he force the planet's rotation to go 100x faster so the day-night cycle is a matter of minutes or seconds? 
    Then again, isn't magic just "reality warping" in and of itself?
  9. Superlike!
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in War IS The Answer!   
    Cordoza was silent, almost shellshocked, for a moment. As much of a reputation as she had for toughness and boldness as a politician, it was much different to be right in the thick of a life-or-death fight, particularly one centered around herself. She needed a moment to consider everyone Zack had explained, before she could really answer.
    "You will be the third man to come to me with promises of help, if I only cooperate with them," she had a hard look on her face, as though to imply she didn't like constantly being told what to do, but then it very subtly softened, "However, unlike the previous two, you did not smugly barge into my city with an army at your back. Let's go this way."
    She gestured down the street, and began to lead the way at as fast a pace as Zack could keep up with.
    "I don't know what you expect to do, unless you have some sort of plan to turn this Tin Man against the Norkotians. Even then, I don't know how many of our deputies or militiamen would be left to drive-out the remnants," she continued as they moved.
    She led them to what had once been a high-end restaurant, though apparently a stray explosive had taken out a big chunk of it. Even so, she led him inside and motioned toward some private suites near the rear of the building. Unlike the front, these were intact, and one of them even was marked as the "mayoral suite". This was the one she brought him into, and though hesitant to soil the expensive furnishings there, she finally began to try and stop his bleeding with some of the cloth napkins and place mats.
    "There is an old, secret way out of here," she explained, "I don't believe it has ever been used, but I know where it is. When you are ready to move again, we can go. But I need to know what you play is."
    * * *
    "You seem mighty eager to consider this thing over so you can take your money and run," Lt. Keffler responded to Clive, only slightly suspicious though far more annoyed. "But I'll tell you something, when and where you get paid is way above my paygrade, which you should consider yourself lucky you aren't on."
    "Sir, if there were any secret exits, they've been blasted beyond recognition," one of the soldiers reported at that moment.
    "Very well then," Keffler shrugged, "I guess we'll hold this position until relieved."
    He then pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and flipped it open. Only then would it be noticeable how shaky his hands were as he drew one out and put it in his mouth, before looking back at Clive as he reached for his lighter. Both his tone of voice and demeanor seemed to get a little more lax from where they were a minute before.
    "Thanks, by the way, for saving me back there," he made a light head nod toward the hallway, "Don't think there'd be much of me left if you hadn't."
    * * *
    For the next several minutes, Krieger was radioing other commands, looking for any report of enemy movement that could imply the mayor was being moved. But Tynes had taken the Sheriff's Headquarters and no sign of Cordoza was found. Likewise, the southern force had seen nothing, nor did the reinforcements moving in behind them, nor even did the paratroopers posted on the roads outside the lower city. It looked, for all intents and purposes, like Cordoza had indeed blown herself to hell in that upper room. And that in and of itself smelled rotten. But right now, he had nothing to go on.
    "Sir?" one of his subordinates looked at the colonel expectantly, as he continued to stare straight at the gaping hole in the historic city hall.
    "Has a clear path been made to the Executor's column?" Krieger said at last.
    "I don't know sir," the younger soldier shook his head.
    "Then go and find out! And have a jeep here when I return!"
    "Return, sir?"
    "I'm going into the hall. Have the information here when I get back. Go!"
    "Yes sir!"
    Krieger dismounted his tank, his face as grim as ever as he strode into the hall. Soldiers herding prisoners, hauling dead or wounded, or just mulling around waiting for their next orders, saluted him as he moved past them. He returned their salutes, but offered no words to any of them. He rapidly ascended the stairs to the upper level, stepping over chunks of debris and pools of blood without paying them any head. At long last, he found himself at the entrance to what had been Cordoza's office. He gave it a quick look-over, before stepping past the guards and into the room. The men inside, including Lieutenant Keffler, immediately snapped to attention.
    "What have you found out?" Krieger demanded, looking at the lieutenant, who nervously dropped his cigarette to the floor and stomped it out, after he saw the cold blue eyes of the colonel center on it.
    "N-nothing sir! It appears there are no other ways out of the room, so Cordoza must have been completely incinerated by the blast," Keffler replied, standing rigid at attention.
    Krieger stepped past them, then paused and glared at Clive, narrowing his eyes at the unfamiliar mercenary who had somehow found himself at the epicenter of this battle. 
    "Is that your opinion as well, mercenary?" he asked.
    He only paused a moment before moving past Clive and approaching the rear of the office, where the blast damage was most significant. His eyes scanned the blast zone slowly, before he crouched down and picked up some of the rubble in his black-gloved hand and held up to his nose as if to smell it. After a moment, he dropped the dust and brushed his gloves off, before standing up. Turning about-face, he promptly marched out of the office without another word.
    "Cripes, what's with him?" one of the soldiers muttered once Krieger was out of earshot.
    * * *
    Krieger was met at the hall exit by his subordinate. 
    "Sir, the executor arrived a few minutes ago! He is waiting for you in the courtyard."
    "Good," was all Krieger could say to that.
    He crossed the courtyard rapidly, soon coming into view of a small delegation of grey or black-uniformed officers and soldiers, which he knew to be the Grand Executor and his Executive Guard entourage. Joseph Tynes saluted the colonel as he approached and spoke first.
    "Good work colonel; shame about the mayor. I should have expected her to pull a stunt like this," the executor shook his head, having been informed of the situation beforehand. "No doubt she figured her death would spur on the resistance and prevent us from forcing an easy surrender. Even so, we--"
    "I do not believe Cordoza killed herself, sir."
    Tynes stopped and raised his eyebrows.
    "Go on."
    "The explosive used to destroy her office was made with highly advanced material, similar to what I encountered in my time with the Terran Military. Our intelligence indicated that Forsthaven had zero Terran military presence, and their own technology has not reached this level yet. It was not one of our weapons either, which means it came from an outside source."
    "You think the Terran Military is here?"
    "I would not discount any possibility, sir," Krieger answered, "And that includes the possibility that Cordoza is still alive. The Forsthaven defenders have proven that they are able to use some degree of magic, and it is possible they may have used some mystical means of evacuating their mayor before we could arrive. It is even possible that an outside force with better technology or magical ability was behind it. So long as there is a chance that Cordoza is alive and free, she can continue to rally the remaining citizenry against us."
    "Aren't you being a little paranoid, Krieger?" one of the other officers remarked in a snide tone.
    "Only thorough, major," Krieger answered, "Sloppiness leaves too much room for unnecessary loss. I suggest we take every precaution to ensure she does not slip out of the city somehow."
    "Very well, we'll put all commands on alert," Tynes agreed, "But put out a broadcast announcing that the mayor is dead. Hopefully that will discourage the remaining defenders from carrying on the fight, and maybe will make Cordoza and her benefactors "sloppy", if they are indeed out there. If they believe that we think she's dead, they may make a mistake somewhere along the way."
    "Very good, sir," Krieger saluted.
     
  10. Like
    Tyler reacted to Michael Bloodfang in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Tyler: I'm against OP characters....

    Me: Oh boy...wait till you see Mr. Universe 😂😂😂😂😂😂

    But yeah I get what you mean. I feel like Star Wars personally is ruined for me and I'm not that excited with Rise of Skywalker they better have Anakin in that or the movie was a big ass clickbait and the space magic thing...oh god...I gave up already in trying to understand what is what. Let's keep it simple. Magic and Science are the same and not, easy. 
  11. Like
    Tyler got a reaction from jaistlyn in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    What!? I have a patent on that! Where's my lawyer!?
    I think it varies greatly on universe too. For example, one can view science as explained phenomena and magic as unexplained phenomena (a pretty common interpretation). I tend to think of Science as working within the laws of the universe (even if they seemingly subvert reality, it would be somehow done using methods and materials from within reality), whereas magic is a complete defiance of reality or simply is outside of reality.
    But practically-speaking, they really just aesthetic in practice when it comes to fiction. The Thor movies tried to bullshit that they were "science" early-on, but by the later movies they were just like "aw fuck it" and gave up and just stopped trying to pretend. Much of the powers in movies like Thor Ragnarok simply have no scientific explanation because they stopped caring about that, and it was just "space magic" again. lol
    But yeah, this! Honestly, having a system is in and of itself the best way to avoid "OPness", really, since a system will have rules and limitations. It's why I love how Star Wars (classic Star Wars, not the Disney bullshit) had it that you had to train for years to be able to use the Force, and even then, most Jedi and Sith were still vulnerable to some extend. And because force-sensitivity was so rare and because it took so much to train in it, powerful forceusers were limited to maybe a few thousand in a galaxy of billions/trillions of people.
  12. Haha
    Tyler got a reaction from Michael Bloodfang in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    What!? I have a patent on that! Where's my lawyer!?
    I think it varies greatly on universe too. For example, one can view science as explained phenomena and magic as unexplained phenomena (a pretty common interpretation). I tend to think of Science as working within the laws of the universe (even if they seemingly subvert reality, it would be somehow done using methods and materials from within reality), whereas magic is a complete defiance of reality or simply is outside of reality.
    But practically-speaking, they really just aesthetic in practice when it comes to fiction. The Thor movies tried to bullshit that they were "science" early-on, but by the later movies they were just like "aw fuck it" and gave up and just stopped trying to pretend. Much of the powers in movies like Thor Ragnarok simply have no scientific explanation because they stopped caring about that, and it was just "space magic" again. lol
    But yeah, this! Honestly, having a system is in and of itself the best way to avoid "OPness", really, since a system will have rules and limitations. It's why I love how Star Wars (classic Star Wars, not the Disney bullshit) had it that you had to train for years to be able to use the Force, and even then, most Jedi and Sith were still vulnerable to some extend. And because force-sensitivity was so rare and because it took so much to train in it, powerful forceusers were limited to maybe a few thousand in a galaxy of billions/trillions of people.
  13. Haha
    Tyler reacted to Michael Bloodfang in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Well...I never said I was right did I...? 😂
  14. Haha
    Tyler got a reaction from jaistlyn in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Meanwhile...

    Damn it, Thor.
  15. Like
    Tyler got a reaction from jaistlyn in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    I only know of Ben 10, but know almost nothing else about it other than I think it's a cartoon about high-schoolers that involves science fiction?
    But anyway, so you're saying "warp reality at his will", but that's very very vague. Is he like, literally god where in an instant he can say (as Supes puts it) "Now the planet is a flying turtle!" and BOOM, the world is a flying turtle. Or is it like how Scarlet Witch has it where it's more... well honestly Scarlet Witch's powers are more like highly advanced Force (from Star Wars) powers, namely telekinesis and mind-affecting telepathy. Those are powerful, and can technically be considered "reality warping", though they could technically be achieved through other magical or even scientific means as well. 
    It's a question of if you are leaving it open so he can do "any and all of the above", or if he uses it a specific way, and it is also worth asking yourself how much he can use it and to what extent. Can he just lift a pen with telekinesis? Or can he force the planet's rotation to go 100x faster so the day-night cycle is a matter of minutes or seconds? 
    Then again, isn't magic just "reality warping" in and of itself?
  16. Superlike!
    Tyler reacted to jaistlyn in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Imo, in fiction science and magic are basically the same thing explained in different ways. Like time travelling, it can be achieved by both 'science' and 'magic'. Same thing for reality warping. When we are talking about science, it is science fiction, not actual known science. If course, if you can explain it using actual, or close to actual science, then that's fantastic and more power to you.
    But anyway, yes anything is allowed, whether explained through science or magic or gods, aliens, etc.. what's important here is just to make things fun for everyone involved, the yardstick you can be using to measure is not 'is this believable?' but 'does this idea allow every character to react to it? Does it build onto what the other players have written? Can everyone have fun with this idea?'
  17. Like
    Tyler got a reaction from supernal in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    I only know of Ben 10, but know almost nothing else about it other than I think it's a cartoon about high-schoolers that involves science fiction?
    But anyway, so you're saying "warp reality at his will", but that's very very vague. Is he like, literally god where in an instant he can say (as Supes puts it) "Now the planet is a flying turtle!" and BOOM, the world is a flying turtle. Or is it like how Scarlet Witch has it where it's more... well honestly Scarlet Witch's powers are more like highly advanced Force (from Star Wars) powers, namely telekinesis and mind-affecting telepathy. Those are powerful, and can technically be considered "reality warping", though they could technically be achieved through other magical or even scientific means as well. 
    It's a question of if you are leaving it open so he can do "any and all of the above", or if he uses it a specific way, and it is also worth asking yourself how much he can use it and to what extent. Can he just lift a pen with telekinesis? Or can he force the planet's rotation to go 100x faster so the day-night cycle is a matter of minutes or seconds? 
    Then again, isn't magic just "reality warping" in and of itself?
  18. Superlike!
    Tyler reacted to supernal in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Understanding this is a no rules RP and not even mine:
    One of the principles I outlined in the mild powers set that I think can apply here is that it's less the origin of the power and more the amplitude / power level / effect. Reality Warping can be fine if what it gets used for is in a similar scope to everything else going on, and is OP when it's doing OP things. Turning someone into a toad can be done with a hex spell or with reality warping; turning the planet into a flying turtle would be outside of the scope of MP for me, but idk how it would apply here
  19. Superlike!
    Tyler reacted to Thotification in A Crowning Achievement [Artifact]   
    The woman named Linda motioned to stand. "There is a way but it takes time. You might also have to die more times than you can count."
    Chuckling, she leaned a bit to pat the top of Shane's head. 'There, there. No need to be so worried. Whatever your body is, only you can define your gender."
    With that, the woman slowly walked away from the little guy leaving the present she brought beside Shane. She was satisfied that she gave a great speech but somehow it felt more disturbing that Shane had warranted for. Still, Linda had more stuff to do especially with going back to the ship's core. The airship might be flying well now on auto-pilot but this moment won't last long. The woman is the true power source of this ship and she needs to be back on her chair as soon as possible.
    Then she paused and turned a bit to eye Shane. "If you ever need help, don't hesitate to call me."
    The Lady Sheathe smiled at Abby's words. "I..I admire your devotion to your cause. Somehow you remind me of my friend Ilyana, you know, that religious chick from the Uldwars?"
    "Such strong resolve and purpose can be quite endearing."
  20. Haha
    Tyler reacted to zackrobbman in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Lol "tech-nically"😄  Was that on purpose?
    And I forsee copious amounts of Market-Gardening in the future. Hope Erin's Huntsman skills are on par for the task.😉
  21. Haha
    Tyler reacted to jaistlyn in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    I have no idea of the references, to me he’s just a crazy genius scientist trope who performs human experiments, and is such a loner that he married his own computer creation XD 
  22. Thanks
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    None of the characters outside of our individual main player characters (Meritio, Clive, Erin, Trey) have character sheets, as all of the rest are just NPCs made-up on the spot.
    Lavernius is based (in name and in appearance) on a Red vs Blue character (RvB is an online show based on Halo), though the character is a bit different than the show one. He's technically not a bad guy in the show (I would argue to the contrary, I believe he is a far worse human being than any of the villains in that show, but I digress), but Zack just kind of used him as a base for this character.
    There isn't that much more to know about him that what you've seen here I don't think. He's a an over-the-top, ego-maniacal scientist who has a horde of minions and scientific creations. Also his computer wife is technically Dr. Leonard's ex-wife (and Casey's mother) whose consciousness has been transferred into a computer matrix.
    Otherwise I guess you could just read the first thread, if you really feel the need to get as much backstory on what is going on as you can. But otherwise, just don't worry about it or overthink it! lol
  23. Superhaha!
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Light hearted, open ended, no rules RP [Closed]   
    Indeed, though we had enough content to fill several pages! lol
    @zackrobbman I know you were absolutely baiting me... and while I don't care for being baited... I could not resist!
  24. Superlike!
    Tyler got a reaction from zackrobbman in Chasing Legends Too   
    Erin was not what you would call a "proper" women, but despite herself she couldn't help but think to herself that between Clive insulting her figure, and then insulting her intelligence, and then telling her to go to hell (or something to that effect), it was no wonder why the man was a pitiful, booze-soaked drifter and not a happily married man*. And for a moment she had been about to smile at him when he tipped his hat to her, but instead, as Clive turned away after calling her dumb (which was completely accurate of course), she was making angry choking gestures behind his back, which can only be appreciated if the hypothetical camera angle is placed in front of Clive, looking back at the fuming Erin behind him.
    Got that comic artists and filmmakers that will eventually adapt this into a world famous series? Good.
    Anyway, based on what little she managed to hear of Aslom's ramblings, Erin seemed to believe that the woman thought herself trapped in some sort of fictional story, which actually seemed to make a lot of sense given everything that had happened to Erin. Maybe all this was just a fiction, and the only reason she was alive was because she was a main character and had plot armor...
    Just then, that line-of-thought was interrupted, as Clive then decided to ask Erin, of all people, what was going on with the Sorcerers Supreme**, despite the presence of an apparently brilliant scientist and an actual mage. Because clearly, according to Clive, the flat-chested, pea-brained, hell-bound, second-rate assassin is most qualified to answer that question.
    "I don't fucking know!" Erin blurted, "All I see are a bunch of wannabe god-things stroking their own egos and putting on a fancy light-show. I say we get the hell out while the gettin's good."
    Clive echoed that sentiment a moment later as he ignored her and instead turned his attention to Dr. Leonard. Thinking about it, Erin wondered why she hadn't bailed on this circus sooner, but she had this sneaking feeling that going off on her own was a good way to get into an even worse situation with nobody to bail her out.
    Meanwhile, Leonard could only shake his head at Clive.
    "There isn't a bar within a hundred miles of here, or at least there wasn't when I moved here. But I've been living underground for a decade or two, so I suppose I cannot be sure. But that is irrelevant, as we have to be able to get away without Laverius tracking us, and if we can, avoid giving him another toy to experiment on."
    He shoved his daughtersword into his belt again and motioned for the assembly to follow, having blatantly ignored the ramblings of the Blackspears, though he gestured at them to follow as well. Unlike the others though, the Blackspears were not privy to his base's location, so he was not as concerned if they foolishly decided to stay and get captured or killed by Lavernius. On the other hand, Akor seemed like a powerful sort, and Lavernius did not deserve to capture another individual of that caliber.
    "The generator's demise might also destabilize his local equipment, at least temporarily. That gives us our best window to escape. It has to be close, so spread out and find it!" he urged, "Before Lavernius calls out something worse than Henry or his mechanical sentries!"
    * - your humble narrator has no factual confirmation that such a thing exists
    ** - coming soon to a Little Caesar's near you!
    Meanwhile, inside Laverius's base...
    The lone hunchbacked minion made his way to the elevator and ascended to one of the upper levels of his master's sprawling fortress-lab. As the doors opened, he stepped out into a giant cloning chamber, which was currently inactive and dark, and without any growing fetuses, due to the latest batch of clones being already fully grown and ready. After crossing a couple obnoxiously long catwalks, the minion stepped into a room that, which unlike the rest of the high-tech base, was straight out of 1944. Inside was a small army, the result of one of Laverius's less-than-successful ventures.
    You see, some months ago, Lavernius dispatched one of his lackeys to acquire the DNA of the most elite soldier he could find, so that he could be cloned into an army of obedient, organic drones that could be deployed at a whim, but not suffer the limitations of technology. The lackey, figuring the best place to find a gallant warrior was at some sort of drinking establishment, stopped at a place in a remote city that was currently acting as a staging area for some sort of military operation. Soldiers appeared to be passing through frequently, so he figured there were bound to be suitable subjects within. Unfortunately, the day and place he chose had put him on collision course with the absolute worst squad within that entire army, and when he strode into the bar and began questioning the men there who the most "quintessential soldier" among them was, they directed him toward one man in particular. The lackey subsequently approached that man and managed to acquire both a substantial DNA sample for cloning, and a brain scan to provide a template for mental programming, though he nearly was roasted, perforated, blown-to-bits and buried alive in the process (the man he attempted to acquire the sample from did not appreciate being poked and prodded, you see, and his squadmates were happy to use that heated disagreement as an excuse to start a chaotic bar-brawl that ended with them all being cuffed and chained by the time their unit shipped out to their final destination).
    Anyway, the lackey managed to return intact, and Laverius got to work on what was supposed to a monumental success. And indeed, when the first batch of clones were completed, they were all square-jawed, shaved-headed, gruff-voiced, jack-booted goose-steppers who looked and sounded every bit the part of perfect soldiers. There was just one problem...
    They were all complete morons.
    Apparently the "quintessential soldier" was just the guy who spouted enough soldier-like nonsense that his squad, which was made up mostly of mercenaries and convicts, considered him the most soldier-like of their lot. Subsequently, the consciousness of the lackey who acquired that sample now inhabited the self-propelled floor polisher. But as for the project, it had been dubbed as "Project Grunt", so named after the imbecile who served as the original host for the fiasco. The rarely-used "Grunt Squad" now hung-out in a room specially set-aside for them, with old-fashioned alarms and ancient-looking computers and fake battle-maps.
    As the hunchback minion stumbled inside, several hundred men puffing on various cigars and pipes, and with clunky steel helmets that covered their eyes, all snapped their heads instantly toward him. Minion looked up at them nervously, before meekly addressing them.
    "T-the master wishes for you to assemble and move out immediately! Your m-m-mission is to capture the intruders that escaped Henry's cave..."
    "INTRUDERS IN HENRY'S CAVE!?" one of the grunts barked.
    "TEEEEEEEEEEN HUT!" one of them, in a ridiculously over-decorated general's uniform, roared.
    Every single clone there dropped whatever they were doing and snapped to attention. The general shifted his corn-cob pipe side to side in his mouth as he looked over the entire lot, before nodding and pulling out a standard army-issue fold-out shovel.
    "AAAATTTTAAAAAAAAACCCKKK!!!"
    The entire "squad" immediately stampeded for the door, causing the hunchback to regret not leaving the instant he finished delivering the message, as he was completely flattened by herd of half-wits. The grunt army, armed with a variety of shotguns, rocket launchers and various melee weapons and digging tools, made straight for their designated sally-port, and they would not stop until their mission was completed...
  25. Superlike!
    Tyler reacted to zackrobbman in Chasing Legends Too   
    While chipmunks are small, they are very fast, have a considerably strong bite force, and very sharp nails. It was all Clive could do to keep them from chowing down on anything vital to his livelihood or his prospects for children. He tried slamming his body into trees, dropping to roll around on the ground, and even begging them for forgiveness. Nothing worked though, and he became acutely aware of how important it was to have an extra layer of clothing over his underwear. He lamented the time Zack had offered to sell him a pair of his boss's patented 'Indestructo-Wear MK7'. He'd told Zack he was a moron for pricing it so high and that he'd never be in a situation where he would need it.
    What a fool he was. So come on down to Hell's Gate and get yourself some mechamunk-proof underwear at Zacko's 'Indestructo-Wearhouse'! Our prices may be high, but remember our motto! It's always better to 'Grab a pair before you lose a pair!'
    Now that the sponsors are pleased...
    Clive continued to run around and scream like a bumbling moron until Erin slapped one of Leonards devices on his arm. Clive's screams caught on repeat in his throat as the jolt of electricity the device provided surged through him. The current fried the circuits of the chipmunks trying to literally get into his underwear and the killer rodents fell to the ground. He and Erin now stood there, stock still with their hair all frizzled up and their eyes as wide as saucers. 
    "....Ow." grumbled Clive before reluctantly relaxing himself and shivering. His body was covered in dozens of little bites and scratches, not to mention the burns where the lasers had grazed him. His head swiveled in every direction, his traumatized eyes darting around to make sure no other rodents were in the area. To his surprise, they and all the other killer animals appeared to have suffered the same fate as the chipmunks. He looked over to the circular device Erin had placed on his arm before looking back at her. 
    "Did...did you just ZAP me?" Clive asked as he reluctantly relaxed himself, still shivering every now and then. "Why you zap me?! Was it because I called you a flat-chester back in-"
    Clive stopped and looked at the ground. The mechanized chipmunks laid there un-moving and smoldering. He looked back up at Erin with a contemplating expression before finally putting two and two together.
    "OOoooooh, I see." said Clive before taking off his hat to smooth his stiffened hair out. "The fancy gizmo did it. Well, I guess I should be thankin' you then. Thought I was...a goner there fer' a sec'. Thanks."
    Clive tipped his hat to her with an appreciative smile before frowning in realization.
    "Wait'a sec," he said before looking at the circular disc on his arm again, this time examining it closely. "Where'd you get these? I know you ain't make em'. Ya' ain't smart enough to-"
    Clive finally noticed Leonard standing next to Meritio in the background with a familiar looking sword in his hand and a familiar looking shotgun in the other. Clive narrowed his eyes in confusion.
    "Hey, ain't you dead?" Clive asked, stepping passed Erin. His eyes then went wide. "Wait...does this mean...I'm dead!?" (Huh. Deja'vu right?😑) Clive looked around him and saw the Blackspears. His shoulders sagged. "Well I'm either dead or in hell, cause there sure as hell ain't no way in hell those Blackspears'd make it to heaven. Could say the same bout' you." He turned to look at Erin with that last remark. When he did this, he was taken aback by the view of Akor mercy fighting a band of universal beings in the sky. He could see Henry in the distance, clapping his hands and enjoying the show. The battle filled the forest with powerful flashes of light that would make one think the stars themselves were fighting, but Clive merely raised an eyebrow.
    "The hell's all that?" he asked Erin, pointing a finger at the randomly formed epic battle before them. "What in sam hill is goin' on!?"
    Clive turned back around to see Leonard staring at scene, going on about Dr. Lavernius's plan to harness Akor's power. Clive was about to pipe up and say that neither Akor or any of them were really his friends until they got him a drink, but Leonard continued to speak.
    As if he did this kind of thing on a regular basis, which he likely did if he and his daughter had been out here hiding from the doctor, Leonard whipped around with his shotgun and fired a spread of bullets at a drone that was just starting to hover down to them. The drone fell to the ground in a sparking, flaming, heap, the white light in it's center going dim.
    "Now, now, let's hold on a second." said Clive, walking up to Leonard. "I'm all for gettin' outta here, but why we gotta find these generator things? I'm sure that sorcerer supreme'll be able to handle his'self. Why not jus' get the hell outta here an' let bygones be bygones? I mean...oh, hold on."
    Clive casually took out his peacekeeper and fired from the hip at an approaching drone in the sky a mile or so away. The hard-light bullet hit it's mark dead on, piercing through the drones single eye and out the back. The drone then plummeted towards the ground before disappearing behind the horizon of trees. 
    "I mean, you been here for years right? Dont'chu know the way outta here? Or...where the nearest bar is at least? I....could really use another drink right now." 
     
    ***
     
    Doctor Lavernius sighed and massaged the front of his helmet when the camera feed of his fourth drone went kaput. He briefly regretted not sending out the battle drones instead, but then remembered the incident he had the prior month when they became sentient and tried to kill him. It'd taken a week to find and destroy them all and he hadn't gotten around to making more because his wife refused to let him and Henry had gotten into the nano-bot mainframe and mistook the wires for spaghetti.
    "Computer...dearest..." said the doctor as he massaged the face of his helmet. "How long until the nano-bot mainframe will be up and running? I need those battle drones."
    "A few hours, dear." replied his computer wife from the speakers placed all around the room. "Did Dave and the other critters not apprehend them?"
    "No, Dave didn't." replied the doctor before placing his hands on his hips. "I think one of them used an EMP of sorts. And they keeping shooting down my surveillance drones."
    "What about those sorcerers you killed last year?" said the computer. "The one's who all proclaimed themselves as The Sorcerer Supreme?"
    "Currently in use and analyzing the NEW Sorcerer Supreme's abilities. Despite his impressive projection, he has yet to display anything I could use for my latest project. I still need that boy."
    "What about the B-Line network?"
    "Out of range." said the doctor with a dismissive wave. "Nothings within ten miles of them that will be useful or not immediately or accidentally murder them on the spot. I'd rather have them in here before dinner, so I'll just send out the Grunt Squad."
    "The Grunt Squad?" his wife repeated.
    "Yes." answered the doctor.
    "The Grunt Squaaaad?"
    "Yes, that's what I said."
    "The Grunt Squaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
    "Computer, so help me, I will rewire you're circuitry and remove your satire module!"
    "Finally." coo'd the computer. "I've been waiting for you to rewire my circuits for days now."
    The faces of all the hunchbacked henchmen in the lab suddenly developed a pinkish hue. One of them looked right and left before pulling out a miniature camera. For scientific purposes obviously. 
    "Oh?" said the doctor. "Did I leave your wires too...tangled from the last maintenance check?"
    "Ohhhhh, yes. They're all bunched up and intertwined now."
    "Well..." said the doctor before levitating down to the floor from his platform. "Guess I'd better go fix you then."
    "Yes." agreed the computer. "Fix me hard."
    "Oh, I intend to. You!" shouted the doctor before pointing a finger at his nearest henchman, who flinched like he was about to be hit. "Assemble the Grunt Squad and have them deployed in the next twenty minutes!."
    "Y-Yes sir, your inscrutable-ness!" saluted the henchman. 
    "And make sure no one visits my private quarters for the next hour." said the doctor. "I'll be researching the sensitive symbiotic relationships between biology, matrimony, and technology. My wife shall rediscover the unimaginable pleasures that can be obtained from marrying the great, the almighty, the impossibly sexy, DOCTOR LAVERNIUS TU-"
    "Hurry up!" said his computer wife. "My circuits are starting to burn!"
    "Okay then!"
    With that, the doctor teleported away in a flash of bright, white light. The red faced minions now stood in the lab silently, trying to come to terms with everything they'd just heard. Then one, primarily the one with the camera, spoke up. 
    "You guys wanna see how that works?" said the minion with an excited smile as he held up his camera.
     
     
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