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About Vintage

  • Rank
    Control: In It
  • Birthday May 2

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  • Occupation
    Adult Sexual Health Instructor and Relationship Coach at Pure Romance by Nette

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  1. Vintage

    Why that profile picture?

    People tell me their secrets and send me their pics. Idky.
  2. Vintage

    What do you hate to see in a post?

    I’m gonna flip this just a bit and share something that I love to see but many might not. You kinda get used to how some people write. In fact, if you’ve written with them often enough, you get a sense of how they might respond and could probably write their post for them. (Not saying you should.) But, I absolutely love it when writers experiment with different styles - completely throws you off track because you weren’t “expecting” it at all from them. I hate it when people give them grief for it, though, and not even giving any sort of constructive feedback. Edit: when you try to respond but your phone wants to advertise instead.
  3. Heya!

    1. -Malice-


      Hi, how's it going? 

  4. Vintage

    What do you hate to see in a post?

    Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't even respond to anything on Valucre that's related to writing or role play because it's been so long since I've done either of the two on a consistent basis. I get over it and respond anyway. No emotion/lack of emotional response -- As a reader, I want to know why the character hasn't shown any response to current events taking place around him. It's one thing to not show any physical response (bland expression on one's face, no physical knee-jerk reaction, etc) -- some people are just wired that way. But, I kinda wanna know why. If not in this post, then at least in subsequent posts. And when you reveal the big why -- I want you to show me, not tell me. Show me what happened to your character that makes her unable (or unwilling?) to express any physical response to a traumatic scene that just developed right in front of her. Was he born that way -- momma sipped too many mint juleps while she was pregnant and your brain development was stunted? Is it a result of past events? -- did your emotional threshold snap when you walked in on momma getting a personal introduction to Lucille? -- fuck, I don't know but I want to know. Characters that don't fit the setting -- A bard, a druid, a paladin, and a monk are sitting at a table in a bar. The light from the fireplace and a few candelabras is about as technologically advanced as this place gets. In walks a hipster gunslinger with a rocket launcher, grenades, and a cell phone that runs on crystal power. It's legit because he earned them in another role play .... his character sheet says as much. On that note, two humans and a furry (pick your poison) with guns, grenades, and cell phones and in walks a celestial mage with a shotgun. No quid pro quo -- Don't get me wrong -- I love powerful magic users. But, I think there should always be an exchange. Raistlin Majere is one of my absolute favorite wizards -- and it isn't because of his power. It's because of his physical frailty and his personal code of conduct to which he always, always adheres. I love his weaknesses more than his power. Character sheets -- Okay, so I don't really hate character sheets when they're used to keep track of what a character has done or maybe even a quirk that developed during a particular scene in a role play that the writer wants to expound upon. That shit is cool as fuck. What I absolutely fucking loathe, though, is when a writer looks at one of my character sheets to check if my character "can really [insert verb]" and then messages me to let me know I should edit the fuck out of my post because my character sheet doesn't list [insert verb] as a known ability despite the fact that I've spent the last ten posts preparing my character's discovery of a newly found skill. Character development, mother fucker. ON THAT NOTE -- a character who suddenly develops an insanely powerful ability "just cuz" really grinds my fucking gears. Photos, colored text, YouTube videos, GIFs -- Okay, it's kinda cool that you're able to do that shit but it's so damn mind-jolting...and not in the same fun way that happens when someone mindfucks my brain using only their words.
  5. Vintage

    Well, hi. Again.

    How've you been?! Are you back for good? Writing? I hardly ever get on here anymore but . . . so glad I dropped in.
  6. Vintage

    Well, hi. Again.

    WIFEY!!! -glomps- OMG I MISS YOU ILU!!!
  7. Vintage

    My Pure Romance Life

    Story time! Once upon a time, there was a frugal client. Let's call her Frugal Franny. She was the sort who clipped coupons, combined offers, and was always on the hunt for the "great deal". One night, Frugal Franny attended a Pure Romance party after her friend promised her that she wouldn't have to buy anything. At this party, she met an amazing consultant named Winona. Now, Winona shared so many amazing products -- she had lotions and sprays that smelled good, lubricants and creams that tasted oh-so-yummy, and even things that went buzz in the night. She played games, told jokes, taught everyone how to find their G-spot and Frugal Franny even won a free foil pack! When it came time to go into the "O" room, Frugal Franny went in, hoping to be able to score some more freebies. She also wanted to take the opportunity to tell the consultant what her thoughts were on something called "O". You see, Frugal Franny's middle name was DIY Dotty. She even had her very own Pinterest where she pinned DIY projects that she wanted to try and it just so happened that she had found a DIY formula for this very-expensive-but-not-really-because-it's-only-twenty-bucks "O" cream and she wanted to give Miss Winona a piece of her mind. But first! Did she have fun? Well, yes, yes she did. Did she learn something new? Yes, lots of things. Did she want to get some free stuff just by having a party? Maybe. Now that the questions were out of the way, Frugal Franny DIY Dotty was ready to let it loose on Winona. "I read somewhere that you can put toothpaste on your clitoris and it gives the same kind of sensation that your O stuff does and it only costs a couple dollars! You're ripping people off with your over-priced creams!" There, she did it! Frugal Franny said what she went in there to say. Wait, what's this? Winona has a response? "Toothpaste? On your clitoris? No, no, no, you do not want to put toothpaste on your clitoris! Toothpaste contains hydrated silica -- sand -- and other abrasives! You don't want that on those sensitive tissues!" But, Frugal Franny wasn't having it! She walked out and left Winona sitting there. Fast forward two weeks later. Phone rings. "Hello?" Oh, Winona has the phone voice of a sex goddess! Is she truly in the right line of business?! "Hi. Is this Winona? Pure Romance Winona?" "Yes, this is she. How can I help you?" "This is Frugal Franny. I gotta AXE you a question." "Yes? Are you okay? You sound distressed." "You 'member that tooth paste I told you about?" "Yes?" "Well, I used some tonight and my clitoris is burning like someone poured gasoline on it and lit my kitty on fire! What do I do?" ". . . . . " AreYouFreakingKiddingMeRightNow were the thoughts that ran through the consultant's head. "Hello? Winona? Are you there." "Yes, I'm here" "I tried to rinse it off with water but that made it worse. I remember you're supposed to drink milk when you eat jalapenos so I poured some milk on it but since I'm a vegan I only have Almond milk. Will that work?" ". . . . . " WhatTheActualFuckIsThisShitReal "Frugal Franny?" "Yes?" "My suggestion is that you seek the advice of a medical professional." "That's why I'm calling you." "I'm not a medical professional." "Oh, okay. So, you mean, like I should go to the ER? Okay, I'll try that. Thank you. Bye bye." "Good night." #YouCantMakeThisShitUp #DontPutToothpasteOnYourClitoris#OIsOnlyTWENTYBUCKS #CheaperThanTheER#YouCanGetItFreeWhenYouHostAParty
  8. Vintage

    Pictures of Us

    My little gummy bear right after he was born: And now he's home: I think his eyes are gonna be blue. I hope so. Omg, he's just so freaking adorable. #YayasGummyBear #SoInLove
  9. I’m kinda freaking out that Connor weighed ten pounds at birth. He’s still in NICU but Marissa was released yesterday. She’s physically recovering well but her crying spells are almost non stop. She blames herself, despite the doctors telling her she did nothing wrong, and the separation from her son is insanely hard on her. I’m afraid she may end up developing postpartum depression.
  10. She named the baby Connor Andrew. He’s in NICU. His blood sugar levels have been too low and he’s having a hard time managing them. He’s been making improvements since they moved him yesterday but they’re small improvements.
  11. About 8:30 last night, my daughter delivered her baby. Ten pounds. Omg, TEN POUNDS!!!
  12. About 5 weeks ago, Marissa was in the hospital with the flu. It was so severe that it caused her to go into pre-term labor. They kept her a couple days, monitored and treated her illness, and was able to stop her contractions. They sent her home with strict bed rest instructions and antibiotics but not before letting her know the baby would be huge by the time it's born and that she should expect a C-section. At this point, she was so big that she could barely walk. Two weeks ago, I threw her baby shower at my mother's house. On our way home, I happened to glance at her and saw that the entire left side of her face looked like melted wax. Rushed her to the closest ER and she was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy brought on by a sinus infection. They gave her more antibiotics and she was sent home. Two days later, she was vomiting, couldn't speak coherently, and had lost her hearing and vision on the left side. Took her in to the Labor & Delivery where they could monitor her. She was given a steroid treatment, lots of fluids, and several tests were done, including an MRI of her head. Four days later, they sent her home, again with instructions for bed rest and no real conclusion as to what was going on, though I did ask if they were testing for preeclampsia. Instructions to make a follow up appointment with her doctor. About 3 am today, she called out to me, crying. Her hands and feet were swollen and itchy. Took her to the hospital...they monitored her for a few hours and came into the room to tell her that she was being released...with strict instructions for bed rest. It was at this point that I lost my shit. To be honest, I should have lost my shit a long time ago but I really didn't want to be the overbearing mother harassing the doctor. But, seeing my daughter on the hospital bed -- blind and deaf on one side, swollen hands and feet, crying and sobbing and in so much pain ... wait, what? she's supposed to ...go home and get in bed? Nah, brah, I chimped the fuck out. They're inducing labor tomorrow morning. She'll likely be having a C-section. It was "fortunate" that she hadn't gone home yet because one of the tests the doctor was waiting on just so happened to come back and showed that she has atypical preeclampsia. The only cure for preeclampsia is ... delivering the baby. Tomorrow, I meet my grandson.
  13. I actually use HootSuite and CinchShare to schedule my posts. While CinchShare is geared more towards direct sellers and isn't free, HootSuite is wonderful for managing social media because it allows you to keep track and manage a lot of social media platforms. And, they offer a free package with options to upgrade for a minimal price. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest...I think Reddit is available, too. I've no idea how many platforms you're using but, personally, a good rule of thumb is no more than two. I remember reading about that guy a year or so ago. I'm over here staring at a bowl full of paper clips wondering what the actual fuck.....I need better internet people.
  14. I've been banned from one of the trade groups for posting pornographic content, despite having permission. One of the admins got her panties in a twist and decided to ban me. So, I made my own and advertised there. Don't have the time anymore because the business has taken off and I rarely need to do any advertising in groups these days. But the trade group now has over 2000 members and they're all a bunch of petulant adults that can't get along. I can't believe how many reports I get on a daily basis where person A is pissed at person B because person B skipped person A even though person A said "interested" before person C. I struggle to believe these aren't five year olds. What kind of articles are you posting on your page? Klout has a pretty cool feature that will scour the internet for relevant, content rich articles that you can share on your page. I log in once a week and schedule the articles that I want to share for the upcoming week so that I'm not tied down to my computer. Just enter the topics you want to be an "expert" on and Klout will search for relevant articles. A quick search for "Garage Sales" turned up this one.
  15. I have no clue who Jake Owen is but I'm going to see him in a private concert. Him and Pitbull. I'm excited about Pitbull.