Red the Ambivalent

The aroma of salted meat boiling in a stew above a cooking fire filled her nostrils the moment she swung the door open. She knew this Inn, it was the very first to be built during the beginning phases of Predators Keep. The name had changed quite a few times along with the hands that ran it, but the interior was exactly the same as it had been. This particular building had been constructed similar to that of a log cabin, although on a more grandeur basis, much akin to a mansion in the woods as Red might have described it. The exterior was so precisely put together not a single ray of light could be seen shining through the logs, and even without proper insulation it was air tight enough that the fireplace warmed the main room without a cold spot to be found. Cliché as she might say, but everything was made from wood and beautifully crafted at that. For a warm summer night as it was the main room seemed busy as can be, people from all walks of life enjoying cheerful company with a mug of ale gripped tightly in their fists. The smallest most genuine smile graced the Queens paled lips as her eyes danced from face to face, ears catching small snippets of conversation ranging from complaining about their wives to complaining about their jobs, all things good hearted yet deserving at the end of a hard day. This was what she had thrived to create for so long, a place and a home for people to make memories safely and without fear. The quiet patter of bare feet slowly crossing the room was drowned out by the hearty clanking of mugs and laughter of the patrons, even the stink of a hard days labor on each man and woman she walked by was covered by the terrific aroma of the kitchens meal of the night. After so long alone, after the memories of a time unknown lost to her, Kahlan couldn’t imagine a more pure and satisfying place to be, even if nobody knew it was their Queen within their midst; and she was completely okay with that. The cheerful, wart covered face of the Innkeeper turned with the broadest, most sincere and toothless smile Red had ever seen. “What y’ havn’ dearest?” It could have melted her heart in all honesty, but there was a smooth dense shell of nothingness protecting the innocent heart of hers underneath. As warming and wonderful a sight that that Inn was to the woman, she couldn’t bring herself much more of a smile than the small one before. “A room, and a warm bath drawn. The best cut of meat you have tonight, as well.” Unlike the usual Psionic Queen, there was no please or thank you. There was a monotonous tone to her voice and the downward tilt of her head to ensure not a single soul could see the owner of the tattered cloak. All she wanted was a bath to clean the film of filth from her pale skin and a hot meal, something to satiate the angry growling within her barren stomach. Turning her eyes upwards beneath the lids she watched as the Inn keeper faltered momentarily, seemingly not used to such straightforward and thankless requests. With a slightly agape mouth the toothless woman bowed her head quickly and was gone in an instant, leaving behind a brass key with a small tag which adorned the number four. Wasting no time Kahlan ascended the creaking stairs and headed down the dimly lit hallway in search of her room, hoping it wouldn’t take long for her to get the service she requested.

“Sincearriving in Valucre, the daiyokai had been satisfied to take a supporting role; however, everything haschanged with long-standing allies failing her by either neglecting their duties to lead appropriately or by betraying her trust on a more personal level. “ Ouch xD

How long had it been? Memory didn't serve as well as the saying goes when magical persuasions had been involved in a sudden disappearance. Such was the case of the vanished Psion Queen; she'd been missing for nearly a year. Time was just as finicky as memory, there was no saying in her mind how long she was gone, where she had been, what had been happening in her absence. Red Yusuke didn't remember a single moment of the last year on Valucre, she felt weak and drained but that could lead to so many different scenarios. Her hand drifted idly to the flat, empty stomach of hers that last she knew was growing a child, one that she thought had been sucking the life from her at the Festival in Port Caelum. Could it be the child had died? Another failure in her life, another tomb to riddle the vast blackness of her deepest thoughts. Without knowing, without confirmation, the most Kahlan could do at the moment was assume another one of her children had died within her belly. Roens. Xartias. All growing yet all terminated from ever getting the chance to live life. It was no different than anything else she had loved in the past and lost, she was not meant to love or receive such things. Do I deserve even this? Spread out in all it's wonderous glory in front of her was the only child she knew would thrive, would live. Predators Keep had been left without its Queen for a time unknown to the psion and yet here it stood, lights flooding the streets and laughter fleeting from warm homes. Guards respectfully posted at the gates and in the four towers around the walls. She thought she even got a hint of a homemade stew floating on the warm summer breeze. This was where she belonged, not in Patia with some Devil that couldn't return feelings even if he had any. Not in Genesaris trying to prove to the world that she was a Queen to be admired. Here in Predators Keep where she knew her people loved and adored her, but her fears were too bright to ignore. Would this all crumble as well? Everything she loved repeatedly disappeared from her life. It was a running theme and one that was impossible to call a coincidence, although she wasn't sure what had been the fate of the growing child in her womb. If she were to just look back on history the most probable answer was death, and that was the answer she would stick with until she was proven otherwise. Dead. Gone. Abandoned. She was the walking embodiment of bad luck when love was concerned. Lovers dead, lovers disappeared, two babies destroyed by her own mothering womb. What Kahlan loved either died or would not return the emotion, the bond, the sacrifice. It was the already blackening of her heart that had led her back home with thoughts of abandonment, of her choosing to leave these thousands behind in order to save them. The only question was whether or not she could simply leave the years of hard work behind and hope this wonderful city could fend for itself. A quaint breeze picked the disheveled blonde hair from her back, the only tell that she had been without memory of much longer than simply a few months. Her hair had been shorter, the back barely touching the nape of her neck with it tapering down just to her shoulders in the front. Now her hair in the back nearly touched her shoulder blades, and the front her elbows. Although she knew it grew quickly, there was no doubt it had been probably a year or more that she couldn't recall. It had been so long since her hair had been long, and now in her current condition she couldn't imagine she looked much like a Queen at all. A tattered cloak hiding dingy pajamas, her hair dirty and tangled from the journey through the Wilds to her home. Kahlan didn't even recall where she had come from, only that she seemed to awake walking through the forest. With the cowl of the cloak pulled up to hide the color of her hair and the shade of her crimson eyes, the Psionic Queen picked her way through the remaining trees and flora towards the eastern gate of Predators Keep. She'd seek refuge in an Inn, learn what she could since her disappearance, and decide the path to take from there. There was only one thing that was certain. Kahlan had no intentions of mending the blackening of her heart.

T_T not even close lol

I legit just need someone to kick me in the butt so that I can check in here. My weekends are reserved for my boyfriend, since I only see him then. The weekdays though I am working on, right now I typically play Xbox with my best friend or I lay in bed and binge watch shows. Recently they've been anime lol. But I know soon as I can get in the habit of sitting at my desk again, I will be able to be around for a lot more. But I do vote @Fierach as well, but that does not mean he has to take it if he is not ready. For right now, unless he takes the point position, I will do my best to hop on here and weigh in on things. If that is necessary I might need some nudges via text message when I'm needed, I'm great at forgetting and I have set discord on my phone to silent.

k stop being creepy, mr creeper

I'm alive...!?

Long overdue, but kind of an update? (Since I've been gone forever already) I'm posting VERY slowly. Which is better than before since my last post was like what...October? But I am working with a few of you guys, and I'm going to start posting again. I just need to ease into it again. So, AFV meaning...I'm coming back finally, just going to be slow going for awhile until I can get back into full swing.

So, I'm here. I greatly, greatly apologize that I have not been able to reply. For one...I forgot my password, slung some curse words around, gave up, then just reset it tonight. Also, my power was cut off today so I had to get some help to get that back on. ? Anyways. I have been toiling with many ideas over the past couple months regarding Pk and Val, I've gone from wanting to just give it up because I think the whole idea of responsibility scares me (due to failed marriage and personal demons with writing), to struggling with that only because this is my baby. I've worked very hard to make Pk what it is, and I have interest coming from others. Albeit the responsibility thing is the main issue I'm facing, writing by itself is scary only because I'm a dumbass and when things got tuff last year/year before, I used it as an escape. Right now I'm four months into an amazing relationship, and I really don't want to fall down that same rabbit hole and somehow ruin something great. But I am battling those demons, I have posts randomly forming in my head that I should write, plots that need to happen, etc. I do not intend to stop writing forever, and I do completely think I will come back and write regularly soon; But until I can win my fight, Akako, Twitterpated, and Fierach have graciously offered to stand in my stead OOC and IC to ensure Pk is running the way it needs to. I've had Akako create a discord channel for us four so I can stay in the loop, and I am currently working through a good IC reason that Red is currently MIA. I believe I can create a very good plot point for Pk that I can present when I return, regarding her whereabouts. Of course I understand the need to have this discussion, and if the board needs to change hands, I won't fight you on it. I know my absence has left it barren, and Pk deserves more than I have been able to give it. On a brighter note, this is the most I've typed in like...8 months. >___>; ? @Akako Akari@Twitterpated@Fierach@supernal Also how is Altissium faring @Kalmuli? And @Enk Razorwood I had another member, @Knighto message me in November about reviving the Rose, I..Am awful and haven't looked at the message until now, but if they're still around, the interest is there to get it going again.