Veloci-Rapture

So we need to flood Yh'mi with the most harmless, friendly, fluffy little critters until the threat totally dis-evolves. Yh'mi becomes the land of Happy Creepy Guinea Pigs.

Yes, which is both funny and delusional because it's not like we're arguing over the yacht and the summer house in the Hamptons. I've already agreed to half of my 401(k), and the judge ordered that I reimburse her $300 for back bills (already done) from when I left. I know she thinks she can get spousal support if she just wills it hard enough, but the difference in our incomes is less than 10k/year, and she only didn't work during most of the marriage because she's lazy she had seven hundred excuses she was working on writing a book (that had been started before we were even married and was just finally at the query phase). The youngest kid moved out six years ago. Hell, the judge just kind of shook his head when she kept (passive-agressively) mentioning spousal support at Bullshit Drama Circus Act II the hearing before this last one. What I suspect really sparked this sudden desire to throw a wrench in things, other than she is psychologically incapable of allowing herself to feel like she's "lost" any conflict with me, other than I'm not "allowed" to leave her, is taxes. Nobody mentioned the tax returns at any point so far, and my going hypothesis is she suddenly remembered taxes exist, and then suddenly decided I was hiding tens of thousands of dollars in tax return money from her. I hope, hope, hope she demands "her half" of my tax return; I actually OWE the government about $600 this year. I've been keeping myself warm at night by imagining the look on her face when I slide the bill across the lawyer's table to her.

Well hell. @The Alexandrian, you've given me a ton of ideas for Ananias that I never thought of before, but are totally within the realm of his abilities. He could be a doctor, or even try to make himself "pregnant"! Imagine the experiments he could do in finding out how much mass is required to gain sentience! How has he never thought of the idea that he could be the beginning of an evolutionary epoch, rather than just a dead-end? That's deep. More thought required! Anyway. @Jotnotes, I've added a couple of possibly relevant categories to your questionnaire, let me know what you think! Tentative Title: [Completely at a loss here] Natural Physical Traits: Roughly humanoid shape composed of semi-translucent amber-colored gel. Size and mass varies; typically stays between 100kg and 150kg. Has gone as low as 50kg and as high as 200kg. Type of Shapeshifting: Any form, to any degree, from any part of the body. Limited by mass. Biomass Requirements: Alcohol - catalyzes cellular division Location: Valucre native; evolved in rocky coastal environment. Religious/Spritual affiliation: None/anti-theist Sentient/Nonsentient: Sentient above a certain (as yet undetermined) mass, non-sentient in smaller concentrations

I'm having a hard time finding a good similarity to start with. We've got species native to Valucre and we've got Outsiders, we've got origins that are magical, natural, and technological(?), we've got good, evil, and indifferent. I suppose the only commonality I can see is that it's super hard to be accepted, and they can all change shape.

For every 50 cool tournaments that get proposed and finalized here, 10 actually start, 4 get to round two, 2 complete, and only 1 (at most) completes without some kind of massive OOC drama. I'd love to put Ananias into another tournament; I volunteer for every one that doesn't involve random dice rolls and/or more rules than 2nd Edition Dungeons and Dragons, but to date I've actually fought two whole rounds. Great idea, but will fail in the implementation. Only good for my inner bookie. Number of players dropping between character sheets and round one is over/under 5! Number of posts in X vs Y before an OOC conflict happens is over/under 3! Place your bets!

I've always thought it would be great to do a romantic thread with Ananias. Finding, over the course of an adventure or two, someone who accepts him and falls in love with him, in spite of all the potential incompatibilities (let's be honest, not only is he not exactly the son-in-law every parent dreams of, but half the time he's also not exactly the daughter-in-law that every parent dreams of).

Well, yes, I have a changling of sorts; Ananias is not exactly a pile of goo, but in his natural form it's close enough that he'd consider "pile of goo" to be an ethnic slur. I consider him to be more of an aberration of evolution that accidentally gained sentience, but his backstory (like most of my characters' backstories) is intentionally vague, so as to better incorporate any awesome RP opportunities I come across. From the outside, he definitely seems like he's given up on getting acceptance and has decided to assuage his inner pain by cultivating an extreme superiority complex. But what's really going on is he really gets off on finding a powerful person or organization and taking them down a couple dozen pegs. He seems evil (or at least unpredictable) because he doesn't care about the actual moral or ethical status of said person/people; from chaotic evil bullies to lawful good self-righteous blowhards, the only key ingredient is someone he thinks has gotten too big for their britches. How big is "too big" really just depends on how bored he is at the moment, or how much he's been annoyed (or sometimes whether or not he feels like he's being told what to do by someone without the ability to enforce their authority). Definitely my personal archetype for what "chaotic neutral" should be: kicking authority figures in the nuts whenever he can, without regard to whether they're good or evil. That said, he's not typically about uplifting the downtrodden (unless it pisses someone off). He might tear open a slaver's den only to claim the slaves as his property until it gets to be too much trouble, then sell them himself. He's indifferent to the suffering of the masses, for the most part. But he might have saved a puppy once, for no reason. It's not out of the question. Because who doesn't like puppies? Even a haughty, arrogant pile of goo loves puppies.

Whelp, at the last possible minute, she decided to retain a lawyer and file a continuance. So instead of being fully and finally divorced by the end of the day, we get to start this shit all over again from the beginning.

I've found that if you try to wait for a large chunk of time, you'll be constantly distracted by the stuff you're not doing during that chunk of time. You'll sit down to write and all of a sudden, making dinner becomes VERY IMPORTANT, and feeding the dog becomes VERY IMPORTANT, and doing the laundry becomes VERY IMPORTANT, etc etc. So you'll say "I'll sit down and write when this other stuff is done" but by the time it's all done, you've got half an hour before bedtime, and you'll say "Well shit, guess I'l do it tomorrow." Just write when you have a moment. Try not to edit if you only have 30 minutes or 20 minutes or 10 minutes, because that'll suck up your time too. Just get the words down until you're done, and then go back and correct things.

Thursday is my final divorce hearing. If it goes as it's supposed to, I should just be signing the papers. But every time I've been in a courtroom with my ex thus far, it has turned into some degree of Drama Bullshit Circus with her as the ringmaster. Please no Drama Bullshit Circus.

It's easy. Just put a Precious Moments figurine on a high shelf. The real trick is picking the cat you want to catch out of the horde that appears in response to your bait.

So I said to myself "Hmm, I dunno, it doesn't really matter... I haven't had a character from Patia yet, so I'll say Patia. Wait, hol up, Patia has some weird rules about races IIRC, gotta check to make sure Halflings are allowed there..... ...... ..... wait...." "Well shit. Nevermind then, I remember Asheville as being pretty cool, I'll just... seriously?"

Uh, well.... Um. None yet. But I assume that's because there's some great stuff being created so far!

Ananias/Ana: Unknown. Which is to say, s/he doesn't even know for sure. S/He remembers where he first gained enough mass to become sentient; a rocky point above a rocky ocean shoreline during a red tide. Where specifically is anyone's guess. S/He's ancient, like Benny's character; so ancient that s/he was once in a relationship with an 8000-year-old vampire and felt kind of self-conscious about the age difference in his/her favor. Unlike Benny, memories get pruned as the cells that make up the body divide and/or die, so his/her history is mostly pretty fuzzy and general as far as s/he's concerned. There's definitely SOME memory transfer between cells, because none of them are old enough by themselves to carry the memory of gaining consciousness, but how it works is anyone's guess. S/He's never encountered another creature quite like him/her, but s/he'd be very happy to if only to compare notes. S/He likes going to old libraries and museums, looking for relics of events that s/he had some hand in. Like ancient scrapbooking. Al "Kaboomba" Pickayune: Near Nich'e in a little town called Gnomivania (now ruins). Vetiver: Last Chance Leo: Patia... wait.... 😶 WTF happened to Patia? Ok, fine, he was born in Asheville.... ?? DUDE! Asheville's gone too! Uh... shoot, ok, so like screw it, he was born in.... uh.... Doughton.

There's some great stuff being created so far; I really hope to get more entries soon!