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It had all happened quickly, from fun and games to reality with a swiftness Fighting was surprised by. An orc was harassing Jersey, and almost as one the group had set upon the crude creature and began berating it, Dan basically teleporting, Tafill sicking his creepy pet on him plus the new kid and of course Fighting couldn't resist. He was slower then Dan, but he still arrived with a swiftness beyond his years - the orc was large, overweight and screamed 'POORLY TRAINED' to the heavens. Frankly Fighting doubted he would be even be worth the effort for the group, they could probably beat him to death before he could even retaliate if they worked together. "I say we draw straws to see which one of us gets to give this weakling a beating." Fighting suddenly declared, his hands behind his head and the expression on his face playful. "He is pretty weak, it wouldn't be fun if we gang up on him!" Fighting didn't state it as a question, his opinion that the orc was weak was so matter of fact the Orc himself would probably question if he was weak or not. 

Fighting eventually made his way closer to Jersey, his friendly smile and calm demeanor somewhat strange given the gravity of the situation. "Don't worry Jersey, this guy isn't worth worrying about! I bet I could teach you to beat him right now!" Fighting gave the small minotaur a thumbs up, his confidence high. Who was to say if Fighting was simply a cocky punk, or if his ability to read the strength of his opponent had told him he had nothing to fear. That was always the issue with children, you could never tell if they were full of shit.

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Oxidus proceeded through the tunnel to join the group facing the orc, expecting what would be, to him, the unexpected. What he saw then came as no surprise. The orc was every bit as outlandish and strange-looking as he figured and then some. Then he noticed Tafili and Guest. This, he had not expected; a massive snake monster protruding from one of the kids' bodies. He had heard of people who formed symbiotic relationships with creatures that lived on their skin or inside of their bodies, but he had never heard of any  cases of a symbiote bursting out of their hosts body to protect them.

He had many questions on his mind regarding the boy and his symbiote, but he knew that dealing with the orc came first. He stepped up to the horrid, ugly brute, ready to make clear his intentions. "Mind if I take him? I don't normally like picking fights, but I can't stand over-sized bullies that pick on people because they're smaller than they are, and this guy's asking for it." His previously casual and friendly tone now turned hostile. He decided then that he wouldn't let this go without landing some blows against this big, clown-faced jerk. And maybe play around with him a little, just to add insult to injury.

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With every little boy shit who thought that they could have ever stand a chance in ever fighting him, his face grew darker and the runic symbols on the orc's collar glowed a brighter blue color. The boys could see the orc's neck tensing even further as it got brighter and brighter. Thinking of all the people he had fought against and the sheer arrogance of the group pissed him right the fuck off. The worst part wasn't even that he couldn't strangle and end these kids right here and now, the worst part is that any tried then they would all be forced away by a runic shield meant to 'protect him'.Any force given in his 'personal bubble' would have forced the children back with as much force that was given via runic blast. He couldn't wait for this job to be over, or when all these brutal shits experienced the true dungeon. They would never know just how many he had killed in the brawling pits, and how little chance they would actually stand if they even tried fighting him outside of this place. If he ever managed to find one of these boys outside and if they even made it, he would be sure to congratulate them. 

Soon the collar would only glow brighter as the Orc begrudgingly gave the speech he was meant to give while a dark look was given under the brim of his overly comical hat, " Welcome to the dungeon... Kiddos... Glory and adventure await you here in these depths... And I am.. Unfortunately.. Your guide here in these hollowed halls. " he was basically spitting the words out, and sounding a bit choked as the collar was glowing so brightly. He didn't even acknowledge the boy's threats. Maybe one of them could throw a strike at him and see what happened.  At one point the collar glowed so brightly he couldn't even speak, so he stared at the wall for a good thirty seconds with a deeply annoyed expression until the collar dimmed.

" ... The first thing will be da screenin. You'll all be given weapons based on ya skills. Every'un gets a fair chance. Line up nice an' orderly next ta my shack ta get yer evaluatin." The huge Orc hulked over to his shack, opening the door and closing it behind him. There were a few clicking noises before the cavern wall next to the shack opened up like a mouth, complete with teeth. It seemed to be the size of a dressing room, and inside glowed a strange purple light that seemed to be coming from no where, and Runic symbols ran along side the walls. 

The orc came out a few seconds later, casually picking his nose. " Yeah, who's first? Get in ther one atta time." He gestured to the hole in the wall. 

The birds in the cavern continued to flutter around the room, but all of them seemed to avoid the purple room. Some even were landing on the orc's hat and pulling at Jersey's ears. They seemed smart enough to avoid the parasite coming out of one of the boys, and the others merely got some fluttering around.

Edited by PurplePanda

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Tafili could tell the Orc wanted to kill him and the other boys, and if he were honest, he wanted the creature to try. While he wasn't normally the bloodthirsty type, the creatures sadism and arrogance grated against the boy like few things did. But despite the Orcs growing agitation, it made no moves to become violent. That begged the question, why was he holding back? Tafili had encountered enough violent thugs in his life to know that impulse control was not generally their strong suit. So either the creature had some other goal in mind... or he wasn't the one in charge. The glowing collar on his neck seemed to suggest the latter. 

Following the Orc to the testing area, Tafili was instantly suspicious of the glowing chamber he was being instructed to enter. But he was already here, and even if he could leave, he wasn't about to leave Jersey behind. The thought led him to look over at the young minotaur, and the sight made his blood boil as he saw the birds tormenting him. While they thought they were giving Guest enough space, they failed to understand just how quick the parasite was. In a blur it had snatched all the birds around the boy out of the air, mandibles rending them asunder as it devoured them. The remaining birds seemed smart enough to leave the boy be, and the parasite disappeared back into it's hosts neck.

Birds taken care of, he stepped into the chamber, "Let's get this over with."


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Jersey still cowered behind the snake, sniffling. Everyone seemed to come run up to his aid, which was super nice. He didn't even know any of these guys, and they were all rushing to help him. It made Jersey feel a lot better. He wiped his tear stained face with his hands, and snorted at the orc. That showed him. He looked like he was practically choking with rage, which was scary, but he made no sudden movements or advances towards all the boys that yelled at him. Jersey eyed his glowing collar. That sure was pretty! He wished he could have a glowing necklace of some sort. 

The orc began to speak, snapping him back to reality. This guy was their guide? What does guide mean? It didn't sound like a nice words. Did he just say weapons? This dungeon was supposed to be the place where he danced with the birds, why would he need weapons!? Jersey's lip trembled but he looked at the other boys. They all seemed calm. Some excited. Especially Fighting. Was this going to be some sort of fun game? Maybe Jersey shouldn't be so scared after all. 

After giving a quick hug to the snake, Jersey let go of its trunk width body and stepped to the side, still standing close.  Bad Idea. The birds he danced with earlier began to attack, pecking at his ears! Jersey squealed swatting at the birds to get them away from his sensitive ears.

"Ouch! Hey stop!" Jersey whimpered, covering his eyes to protect them from stabbing beaks. The pecking stopped. Jersey peaked out from behind his hands. The snake had eaten them! Jersey clapped and reached out a hand to pat the snake. "Thank you snakey snake!" He said, rubbing the scales of the creature, back and forth. Jersey was fascinated by the texture. The scales were smooth one way, and spiky the other! He didn't know that rubbing the scales the wrong way probably hurt, but the snake disappeared almost as quickly as it came. Jersey was left with his hand frozen mid air. The boy belonging to the snake stepped forward. Hey, wherever this guy went he would follow. He looked like he knew was he was doing. Jersey ran forward to catch up with him, grabbing his hand and holding his tail with the other hand. He was ready for whatever came his way! "Come on guys lets go!" He shouted behind him, waving his tail to the other boys who had not moved yet.

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Ooooh, the big scary orc was getting mad. Psssh. Dan had trouble believing he would be able to beat Fighting with half the ease he probably thought he could, let alone have a hope in hell of taking HIM down.
As if we're going to be intimidated by Fat Shrek in clown makeup.
Uhh, Shrek's an ogre.
Orc, ogre, whats the difference?

Dan enormously hoped this ugly fatass could be found outside the 'dungeon'. An arrogant, way overconfident bully. Dan just LOVED making them his playthings. This one almost made a little kid cry. Maybe he'd let Genipperteinga have some fun with him later.
Really? Oooohoohoohoo. You are in for a SHOW, boys!

Evidently, a collar kept him from going off on them. Eh. Whatever.
And now, he says he's to be their guide. Greeeeaaat. This should go swimmingly.

On 7/22/2018 at 7:06 AM, PurplePanda said:

The first thing will be da screenin. You'll all be given weapons based on ya skills. Every'un gets a fair chance. Line up nice an' orderly next ta my shack ta get yer evaluatin.

Screening? Weapons based on skills?
Dan hardly needed more weapons. But, he supposed, more couldn't hurt. He walked up behind Jersey and waited.
Why would I be? Unless they have an actual tickle monster in there, what could there be for me to worry about?
Oh please. One has a centipede demon, one could floor a trained Son of Ares, one... I dunno. He seems like he's way more mature than he should be for so little. The only one we need to worry about is Jersey. And keeping one person safe with these others helping will NOT be hard.
But, this is a pedo dungeon, remember? What if he DOES have a tickle machine? WoooOOooooOOOoo, tickling the teenage demigod forEEEEVEEEERRRR!
Shut up.

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"This guy is our guide? Great." This was the last thing Oxidus wanted to hear. He would have loved to have choked him out then and there, although the odd collar around his neck seemed to be doing a decent job of that. He couldn't tell if it was magic, machine, or a combination of both, but either way, it looked fairly advanced. It was hard to tell what its exact function was, but it seemed to be some kind of restraining device. He noticed that brighter it glowed, the harder it seemed to be for the orc to breath. Oxidus was sure to commit these observations to memory.

At the mention of undergoing a screening process to receive a weapon, Oxidus scratched the area of his head between his horns in confusion. He couldn't think of a weapon the orc could possibly possess that would be of any use to him. After all, his cybernetically enhanced body was far stronger and more durable than that of a normal person, and he already a powerful plasma energy cannon in his arm. His whole body could be used as a weapon if need be. And his super speed, acute senses, lightning fast reflexes and diminutive size ensured that even laying a finger on him would prove a daunting task.

He was a bit taken aback by Guest's swift devouring of the birds that pestered Jersey. One thing he could say for sure about the creature was that is was vicious and powerful. Not the sort of beast you would keep as a pet. Questions about it still buzzed around in his head, but they would have to wait a bit longer yet. He turned his attention to the hole in the wall the orc told them enter for the screening. He saw no reason why he should bother going through any sort of trouble for a weapon he likely wouldn't use, but as it was the only way to progress, he begrudgingly entered into chamber.

Edited by Laughingmad

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The birds let out a series of screams as  their brothers were snatched out of the air, and soon all the birds in the cavern would have fluttered into their stone Cacti. They wanted no part of what ever was attached to the Boy's neck. As Tafili entered the screening chamber, the stone wall quickly slid shut behind him and the purple light the small enclosure felt cold and piercing with out hurting him. The runes all around the cave glowed brightly, and then flashed with a light brighter than the damned sun. A deep rumbling and humming could be heard through the cave for a couple seconds, before a compartment on the far end of the closed space opened up. There lay a blue kite shield that gleamed an ethereal blue hue. The size was about half of what you would expect from a normal adult kite shield. There was no pattern on it but a circular blue runs that slowly swirled across the surface. As Tafili picked it up, it seemed rather very heavy, but only for a second as it seemed to adjust to his very strength. The opening slid behind him, and he could return back with the other boys with his sweet new shield. 


Before sweet Jersey could follow Tafili into the screening, the Orc was there, grabbing him by his overalls just long enough to let the door close in time. The bored-looking Orc mumbled, " One at a time kid." And set the sweet Minotaur back on the ground. When the cave back opened, Tafili was probably going to show his new shield to Jersey, but the Orc pushed the calf into the screening before any such thing could happen. The cave shut behind him and hopefully not on his tail, and the rumbling began and the flash. After the flash, Jersey's neck would feel heavier. On his neck was a runic collar much like the Orc wore, but this one had different arcane symbols etched into it, and if Jersey felt around it there would be a button. The compartment on the wall also opened up, and inside was a double bladed runic axe that had the same blue glow as Tafili's shield. In his hands the weight would be too much at first, but it adjusted its own weight for the jerky meister to be able to swing it. The cavern door opened and he could also now show off his magic bling. 


The Orc was boredly picking his nose, pausing so briefly to acknowledge that  Jersey would now be wearing the same kind of collar that he was, but hopefully less restricting. Then his eyes lazily landed on Dan as he lazily gestured for him to get his ass in there. As he did, the cool purple light pierced through him, the stone wall shut behind him, and the rumbling started. Then the flash of light blinded him and nothing was added onto him. The compartment opened up and in it was a jagged, short range dagger that was really no more than a rough prisonshank in look, but with an ethereal blue glow about it. With the dagger was a parchment wrapped in twine, and when opened it read in beautiful calligraphic strokes, " There is now a 'tickle monster' present in the dungeons, stay safe and conquer your fears. Thank you for your creative input!" At the bottom of the letter was a quick characture of a man with long dreads and a top hat winking at him.  Dan asked for it, and so it appeared just for him. He should feel proud. The stone door opened for him only after he read the parchment, and as it stayed open he was holding a blank sheet of parchment. 


It was his turn now, the cybernetic secretly adult. As the man entered the cool blue light, the door shut quickly behind him, quicker than the other boys. The purple light turned a red and the rumbling was a great deal more intense, and then when the light flashed, several times. Oxidus would have found a collar around his neck much like Jersey's and the Orc. It did nothing for now, had no buttons, but the magical extremities set into the collar screamed repercussions. The compartment at the end of the cavern popped open, only holding a wrapped parchment, waiting to be opened. Thick, jagged lines wrote this message on the page, " I BET YOU THINK YOURSELF CLEVER WITH YOUR LITTLE POTION?! LISTEN HERE SHIT HEAD YOU WONT BE RUINING WHAT I GOT GOING HERE SO YOU BETTER NOT BE USING YOUR FANCY TECH HERE. LETS JUST HOPE YOUR POTION LASTS LONG ENOUGH. THIS IS A DUNGEON FOR CHILDREN AND YOU BETTER LET THEM HAVE THEIR FUN. " It was rather violent and rude, but clear. The door would only open after the message was read, and when it did the message would leave after it was out of the red lighting. Goodness! 

@Old Man Jean

Finally it was up to him, surely fighting couldn't get any thing that would benefit him. Yet if and when he entered, the door would close behind him and the rumbling and the flash of light and the compartment opened for him too. Instead of a weapon, a leather strip with vials filled with brightly glowing blue liquid, seven in total. With the leather strip came a belt to properly hold the bottles of liquid, and then the cavern door slid open and then the whole group was scanned and properly equipped. 

The orc looked lazily over every one. " Yer all ready...? Right. " the Orc with his painted face and ridiculous giant hat shambled back into his shack and pulled a couple levers and pushed some buttons, and a whole mouth of the cave towards the far end opened up, complete with spiky teeth and eyes of flame to complete the face look. The Orc came back out scratching his ass and gestured over at the entrance. " Go forth and have the adventure your heart desires." It was like he was being paid to be just as bored and lack luster as absolutely possible. 

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Tafili turned on reflex as he felt Jersey's hand being yanked free of his own, ready to give the orc hell if he tried anything with the young boy. Before he could muster a word, the stone wall was shut, and he was left in the dark. That didn't last long though, as the room began to glow with intense light. After a few seconds, the young man had to shut his eyes to keep from being blinded by the intense light. All of this paired with the intense rumbling that followed made him wonder for a moment if this had been some sort of trap after all. Then it all stopped at once, and the wall opened to reveal that a compartment on the far side had opened up. 

Upon inspection, he found the compartment contained a kite shield that glowed a strange ethereal blue. When he attempted to pick it up, he found that the shield was heavier than he'd expected, but when he tried again it was as though the thing had been made for him. He had no idea what had happened, nor how the room decided who should get what weapon, but it didn't matter. The sooner they did this, the sooner they could leave. He looked down at Jersey.

"It's ok. Go on in, and cover your eyes until the rumbling stops."

Moving to stand with the others, Tafili regarded the minotaur with concern. Though he obviously wanted to protect the boy, there was no getting around the fact that he was a burden. He displayed no great physical prowess, or any measurable combat skills. Worse than that though was the boy's childish naivete. When he had spotted the birds earlier he had chased after them heedless of any danger that might be waiting for him. All of the older boys would have to keep a close eye on him if he was to survive whatever was coming next.

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Jersey protested at first to being yanked away from his protector, but he decided he didn't want to get on the orc's bad side. He stood and watched as Tafili disappeared behind a stone wall. A few tense minutes passed, but the door finally opened again. Jersey nodded, looking wide eyed at Tafili and his new shield.  Jersey was quickly shoved in by the orc, he fell, landing on his hands and knees inside the room. He turned quickly, not wanting to be separated from the others, but the stone door was already shut. Jersey turned back around, following instructions and covering his big dewy eyes until the rumble stopped.

Jersey felt a sudden weight around his neck, it was hard and hummed with some weird type of energy Jersey hadn't experienced before. Jersey peeked through his large three fingered hand. Propped up before him was a glowing, glorious double bladed axe. The blade looked sharp enough to cut through the thickest of trees. Jersey first touched the large collar around his neck. Due to the weird angle he couldn't see it very well, but it appeared to be glowing too. How strange. Jersey wondered if that appeared because someone knew he had admired the Orc's collar earlier. He now had a beautiful, glowing necklace as well! Jersey patted it, happy for its comforting presence. 

"Pretty!" He exclaimed, pushing himself off the ground and back to his hoofed feet. We walked toward the axe and tried to lift it. It was heavy, but soon adjusted to the young calf's strength. Jersey took a few practice swings, and the door behind him suddenly opened. He saw the others standing out there, waiting for him. He ran forward, flinging his axe all around so they could admire its beauty. 

"I got an axe! I'm just like Daddy!" He explained to the others, holding the axe above his head triumphantly. He puffed out his chest in an effort to look bigger. To clarify, his dad was THE minotaur. The one everyone hears about from the ancient stories. Black as midnight, raging red eyes, and a horrifying stature. At full height he stood 10 feet tall and had incredible strength. He too, owned a huge black axe that he used to easily decapitate anyone who dared to challenge him. Jersey didn't know much about his father, except for his impressive fighting skills and that he had an axe. His father never cared to raise his hundreds of offspring, and his human mother was horrified of the monstrosity she brought into the world. Jersey was abandoned, found in the streets by a wonderful nun who took him to the orphanage. Jersey wondered sometimes what it might be like to live with a mother or a father, but it made his heart feel like a rainy day, so he tried not to think about it much.

Jersey stood in the back, practicing swinging his new axe around  while the others went to the room to get their own items. 

When the cave maw opened before them, with eyes aflame and teeth protruding from the ground, the whites of Jersey's eyes could be seen. He was trembling, shaking, chattering,  his axe dangling loosely from his right hand. His ears flattened and his tail drooped.

"We aren't going in there, are we?" He said shakily, reaching to grab Tafili's hand once more.

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First Tafili went into the cave, and came out with a shield. Huh. Where Dan came from, shields accompanied weapons, they weren't weapons themselves. Ah whatever. Tafili seemed happy with it, and as long as he was, it didn't matter. Unless he didn't know how to use it. But, Dan was pretty sure literally anyone could figure out how a shield worked, so he wasn't worried.

Then in went Jerky- eh Jersy. There. Obligatory jerky joke. Happy now? When he came back out, he was wearing a collar that did.... fuck knows. But he also seemed to possess a battleaxe. 
Dan's instincts flared up again. He said he was just like his dad, which made Dan's sword hand twitch. But thankfully, Jersy seemed more focused on swinging it around behind everyone and showing it to them than he was trying to kill and eat Dan with it. As long as he wasn't a threat, fine.

Then it was finally Dan's turn. In he went, and was bathed in blinding light.
Yes, step into the light, young one.
Shut up.

There was no wicked battleaxe or collar for him, but naught but a glowy dagger. Eh, whatever. Dan had weapons and was one himself anyway. He took it however, wondering if he still remembered twin dagger style. If not, he had every confidence that the instincts would return.
And then he saw the paper. Curious as to why the door out hadn't opened up yet, he took the paper, unwrapped the twine around it and read it.
Dan's stomach dropped. Bare toes clenched instinctively just at the thought. This motherfucker actually..... How did he hear in his mind? That part, Dan decided, didn't matter. What mattered was... Gods, if that thing got hold of him.... He shuddered, thankful that the door remained shut.
I am gonna fuckin' kill you.

Oh so it's MY fault? YOU brought it up.
YOU'RE the one who kept it going!

The door opened and Dan stepped out. Since he couldn't actually kill Genniperteigna, he would make sure to kill the mind reading pedophile in charge of this place.
Deciding that he should show off too, I mean, the other two were, He started spinning the dagger between his fingers, not even needing to look. He would occasionally toss it into the air, and continue his tricks with it.

Then as the last one returned, Fatass did his little lever and button nonsense and the dungeon entrance opened. Spiky teeth and flaming eyes and all.
Dan was entirely unfazed.


6 hours ago, Piperpie said:

"We aren't going in there, are we?"

"Course we are. And we're plundering the whole place of everything it has. And gods help whoever stands in our way."
Going for the pep talker of the year award, are you? Well good news. At this rate you might just beat the chimp they entered as a joke.
Will you SHUT UP.

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Oxidus watched as Tafili disappeared into the small chamber. He began feeling a little nervous after the door closed, and the feeling was made even worse when the flashing lights and rumbling started. He now questioned if this whole thing was just an elaborate trap. But he was relieved when the commotion stopped, the door opened and Tafili emerged unharmed with a shield. All the noise and lights struck him as a little unnecessary for one little shield. After Tafili, it was Jersey's turn. Given his impression of the young minotaur, he found it difficult to imagine what kind of weapon he would return with.

He was surprised when he came back with an ax in his hand and a collar similar to the orcs around his neck. At Jerseys declaration of being like his father, he took it to simply mean that he liked axes. Of course, he knew nothing of the boys father. The tales of his savagery didn't travel as far as his home world. He would've certainly been a bit apprehensive of Jersey if he did. He watched for a moment as Jersey gleefully gave his ax a few swings. He didn't know what to make of the collar, but it didn't seem to have any negative effects. He wondered if those tools alone would be enough, when he noticed the orc gesturing for Dan to go in.

When Dan returned, Oxidus saw the dagger in his hand and question how such a small blade could be of any use. Ignoring the glow it emitted, it didn't seem all that special, though he then wondered if perhaps it was made to look small and relatively unassuming on purpose, to fool opponents into letting their guard down. Bearing this new possibility in mind, he then wondered what kind of power the small blade may really have. He didn't have much time to ponder the possibilities however, as it was now his turn. He sighed deeply before reluctantly stepping into the chamber.

He was a bit surprised at how quickly the door shut behind him, but didn't think too much of it. The process began as normal, and he was mostly unfazed by it, but the light then flashed, and the rumbling grew even more intense, which hadn't happened for the others so far. Oxidus crossed his arms in front of his face and prepared for the worst. When the rumbling stopped and the light faded, he relaxed his arms, letting them droop down at his sides. He first noticed that he now had a collar on, and then noticed the note laid out in front of him. He was left shocked by what it said. "H-How does he know? He wasn't around when I got the potion. And I have really bad feeling about this collar..." He returned to the group, trying not to look nervous as he silently shuffled out of the chamber.

Edited by Laughingmad

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