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Naughty or Nice? [Finished]

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The City of Umbra

The city that was bustling and alive just yesterday is suddenly empty. The streets are devoid of people and entirely silent. The entirety of the Umbran Military and policing forces were in the inner heart of the city. Upon learning of a horrible threat targeting their city next, everyone was ordered indoors. Everyone obliged, and now watched and waited as They walked through the city. Heroes that had taken the Carmine Empire up on its offer. Those either brave or stupid enough to pit themselves against whatever monstrosity that was leaving empty, bloody towns and villages in its wake.

A shadow crossed the Cold Mountains, headed directly for the city. The light sound of jingling bells could be heard if one was crossing close by. The shadow would soon give way to an abnormally large sled. The area before the sled was painted scarlet by an ominous red light.  A large figure held a set of reins. Behind it was a large sack. The figure transferred the reins to one hand, and held out a long sheet of paper in the other.

"............ Umbra."

No more small time villages and towns. This time, it was taking a big target.

"Lets see just how red the Red City can get."

Dan walked through the city, bare feet padding the roads as he did. He was heading to the agreed upon meeting spot. According to the intel he had received from both the Empire and from his little birds, the monster always appeared at the entrance to the town he was about to slaughter. So, the meeting place was before the grandest entrance to the city. Dan hoped this would pay off. He killed monsters for a living, and of all people, he knew a flare for the dramatic when he saw it. He had picked this area because it was the best place to make an entrance.

When Dan arrived at the meeting point, several things hit him all at once.
1: That there was not going to be a very big force to combat this. Only a handful of people, himself included, took the job to deal with whatever this was. Dan had a bad feeling about that. He didn't know why, maybe it was just paranoia in dealing with a major threat with so few people.
2: His resolve to stop the monster stemmed not just from his demigod desire to kill evil monsters. He had begun to view Umbra as another home, which was a bit of a shock to him. He had never thought anything in this world would become home-like to him.
3: Worry over whether Leo was safe or not. Dan knew this was ridiculous. Leo was in Bronte in his room, with so many enchantments on the door and window a dust mite couldn't creep in without getting disintegrated, let alone a monster.
4: The description Dan had received from the Empire and his little birds seemed very familiar....

Dan went by and sat on a bench. Only thing to do now was wait for the others to arrive. Dan hoped they arrived before the monster did. True, he had every confidence that he could handle himself alone, numbers were always a help.

Edited by HollowCipher

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A large dark shadow appeared overhead with a whoosh. The figure perched itself on the gate and let out a piercing screech. "Aella shut up I know you beat me, but you can fly so basically you cheated." Caelus hollered at the eagle on the gate, walking up to the meeting spot. He carried a leather jacket over his shoulder walking up to the man on the bench he slipped it on. "I'm Caelus," he thrust a hand out towards the man, but before he could shake it Aella had moved to perch on his arm, "aha, and this is Aella. She is trained to fly to my arm sorry about that." Aella gave Caelus a loving nudge before he shook her off his arm in order to give a proper handshake.

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"Is this supposed to be some kind of joke!?" Alice was not a happy cat girl, after seeing what happened to her outfit, grumbling as she made her way to the meeting point. Her regular outfit had inexplicably morphed itself when she arrived at Umbra, and now she looked more like someone who's going to a Christmas party than tasked with defending the city.


"Like, what kind of foul sorcery is this, turning me into a laughing stock?" She lamented, turning around to get a glance of her now festive-themed makeover, pouting as she idly flicked at the gold bell that dangled from her red collar, making a soft jingling noise as it did. Still, it wasn't as if she hadn't put on all kinds of weird, outlandish costumes in her missions - all to get at her targets. Like the time she literally baked a giant cake around herself...


"Heh, maybe it's for the better," Alice muttered as she leaned against a nearby lamp post, her eyes glowing red as her wing sign activated, the luminous yellow-orange arcane markings appearing the right side of her face before spreading to her right shoulder and running down the entire length of her arm... even that seemed to have been affected too, as instead of the angelic sigils they became holly leaf patterns...


Conjuring a fireball in her open palm, instead of a snarling orb of flame, a Christmas pudding floating above her hand, wreathed in an orange halo; it was only by feeling the heat generated by the seemingly tasty treat that one could tell, all was not what it seemed. With a hiss, Alice would clench her fist, causing the Christmas pudding fireball to vanish with some sparks and a puff of smoke.


She was kinda pissed at her inexplicable transformation, but that pleased her, for when the attacker arrives, she knew just who to channel her rage at. But hopefully, she needn't wait too long, or else she might just decide to take her anger out somewhere else!



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"Another job again? How cute!"

The maiden frowned as voice of her recently dead sister entered her ears. She knew that her sister was not one to pass on silently and now the blasted bitch is a ghost hovering behind the maiden, the woman's ghastly form invisible to the naked eye. Of course, the maiden Ravenbush has long since adapted to this extra baggage and her only response to this annoyance was silence. She found it best to ignore the incessant prattling of this apparition and instead make good use of her time to actually so something instead of giving lip service.

"Oho! Isn't that Dan Palmer? The Godslayer extraordinaire?"

The maiden's yellow eyes shifted to the figure on the bench. Accessing the cartel's data bank informed the maiden that the boy was named Dan Palmer. While she hated her sister's nefarious organization and their activities, the maiden cannot deny the usefulness of the information her sister's cartel has gathered all over the years. The group may have been long dead and gone, but at least their knowledge continues to live on in Ravenbush. However the monster they will be encountering was something not even her sister had knowledge of and this made the maiden cautious. Hands inside her coat pockets, the maiden sauntered towards the bench and seated herself beside the boy.

The ghost on the other hand hovered above Dan, its lips curling upwards in a mischievous grin. "I wonder if Dan can see me?"


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Dan accepted Caelus' handshake and smiled.
"Dan. Palmer."
Oh look. He has a robot bird. Why dont YOU have a robot bird?
Because I have loads of familiars.

He then looked and saw a disgruntled Neko Girl Furry approaching. Strangely, her powers seemed to revolve around Christmas. That was..... very strange. But he had seen weirder powers. He was about to greet her as well, when he sensed two more people coming. When he turned his head, he only saw one, however.
But, Dan recognized the energy signature of one of them. He knew that Mistress Skin Problems was there, but he couldn't see her, oddly enough. His little birds had told him that the Mistress had died, but Dan had issues believing that.
As this new woman who looked remarkably similar to Mistress Acne sat next to him, he felt the Invisible Woman above him.

"..... Blackhead. I know you're there. I can sense you."
He looked at the physical woman. "Based on your appearance, and the presence of the invisibleness coming with you, Im guessing you are a relative of Blackhead? I'm Dan Palmer."

I wonder.... Hey, Skincare Princess. Can you hear me?

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Twas the Night before Christmas,
And all through the city,
Not a creature was stirring,
This won't be pretty.

In that moment, the sound of jingling bells could be heard all over Umbra all at once. A bright red sleigh would come into the view of the brave, suicidal adventurers who were waiting by the entrance to the city. The sleigh was a crimson red and, curiously enough, was indeed flying. It was piloted by several frighteningly large deer. One would be able to count a grand total of 9. All were nearly identical, except for one. The one in the front had a large glowing nose, a nose that bathed the area in front of it in a blood red light. In the very back of the sleigh, there was a gigantic sack. There were bulging spots everywhere, signifying that it was packed nearly to the brim. One would be able to surmise that, given how full and large the sack was, the contents therein would most likely be able to be given to every single child in all of the world, ludicrous as that might sound.
And, the one driving the sleigh. The master of the reindeer, the owner of the sack, and the one responsible for so much devastation. He was a huge man, really quite obese. However, one would find it difficult to believe that this hampered him at all. He had slightly flushed cheeks and a full beard, whiter than snow. He wore a red suit with white fur cuffs and a white fur collar. He wore white gloves, as well as a red hat similar to a nightcap, which had a white fur rim, and a ball of white fur at the end. The man wore spectacles that covered twinkling eyes. Eyes twinkling with obvious malicious intent.

The sleigh flew right over the archway into the city, and descended into the square, right in front of the interception party. The man looked them over, frowning in disapproval. The reindeer grew restless and started clopping and pawing at the pavement. The man finally spoke in a deep voice.

"Daniel Palmer. Shishidlean Friggadotter. Caelus. Alice Schrodinger. You all have been VERY naughty this year."

The man flexed his fingers, and seemed to emit a dark, murderous aura from his body.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Dan studied the man as he arrived. It seemed his suspicions were right. There was no mistaking it.
In order to properly gauge what they were up against, Dan fanned out his senses to detect the man's power level. Holy shit, mistakes were made.
The power emanating off of this man was staggering. Dan easily imagined this man having no trouble going toe to toe with Zeus back home. For but a second, Dan considered running. Then he shook his head and got it together. Despite having slain a god already, Dan had a feeling this would be a lot more of a challenge than Havoc was.

Dan got up from the bench, and stared the man directly in his eyes as he gave his signature line. Then Dan spoke also.

"...... Santa Claus."

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dxJSrWT.jpg"Yes, I am her twin sister. Unfortunately," the Maiden begrudgingly retorted. Dan seeing the pestering ghost on her shoulder only suggested one thing to the Maiden. This boy can see dead people. Or probably just sensistive. Eitherway, the Maiden hoped this demi-god can do something about her predicament once this job is done. Probably.

The Maiden can hear it though, the ghost snickering at Dan's remark. She should have called an excorcist to banish this thot with a thought but noooo not even a priest could exorcise this evil. Shishi guessed the reason why was because their souls are bound together. Probably. 

She would have pondered more but by then the fucking Santa Claus appeared. Now Dan and his merry warriors would have fight this godawful pervert. And no, Shishi won't be sitting on his lap. And how the fuck does the man know her name? Her author hasn't finalized her name yet that's why she was using her moniker The Maiden Ravenbush. But yeah let the man say what he wants. The only name the Maiden acknowledges is Shishi Ravenbush. Fuck her mother's surname!

Shishi's body was on full alert as she faced the patron saint of prostitutes. Her body seemed to glow in response to the monster's murderous aura. The faint image of an illusory armored angel seemed to manifest behind her in preparation of the ensuing battle.

The ghost on the otherhand merely shrugged. She's already dead, no point in trying. At least she'll enjoy watching them struggle. "I so look forward to Santa spanking your asses."

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"Oh lookie, if it ain't Santa Claus, nya," Alice remarked as the unmistakable form of Santa Claus touched down in the middle of the city square to face the party of adventurers bold enough to confront him. She wasn't sure how he knew her name - or their names for that matter - but that shouldn't be so weird given that he was none other than Santa Claus. The cat girl's smile dropped as the jolly old man proclaimed her to be on the list of the 'very naughty', her lips twisting into a snarl that bared her fangs before turning her head to the side and spitting audibly onto the tarmac. "Bah! No doubt I've killed people, way more than I care to keep track of; but you know what? They were far naughtier than I am, nya."


The cat girl had no delusions about her being anywhere close to a saint, but for much of her life it wasn't as if she chose to be a stone-cold killer, taking lives at the beck and call of her corporate handlers, and not knowing of any other kind of life that existed beyond the walls of her cell. And if there was one thing that allowed her to sleep at night, it was knowing that all the lives she'd ended had it coming - people who were responsible for ruining lives and trampling all over the poor and dispossessed. "So if you think anyone deserves death for not being nice enough, I think that makes you the biggest hypocrite of them all, so here's wishing you..." Alice smirked as her hand went for the blunderbuss that hung from her belt as she stared Santa in the eye.


"Merry Christmas, nya!" And with a fluid, practiced movement like a trained gunslinger the cat girl would raise her weapon and pull the trigger, and with a loud popping noise and a cloud of streamers and confetti erupting from the muzzle, a .454 Casull round would exit the gun towards Santa Claus' forehead as the former assassin looked set on ending him with a headshot!

Edited by Lawman

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 Darre who was already dazzed from being in a mess involving the destruction of several towns she called home all due to a bar disagreement, who knew that a simple disagreement could lead to that?.

Now she was here in Umbra on another world she signed up for this but mnever expected one who looked like Santa Claus to be doing the killing.

"So you've been driven to madness?" As she pulled out her sword and readied herself.

(Sorry its short but people keep distracting me)

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"Yes. I am Santa Claus. And I am a-"
Santa paused a moment, and caught the round that exited Alice's gun right out of the air with his thumb and forefinger. His red eyes moved to Alice, staring holes in her before he crushed the bullet with an audible crunch.

"-And I am a right grumpy old elf. All of you are on my naughty list!"
He eyed all the victims, one at a time.
"Darre Sangria. You trespass on other people's private property at your leisure!"

"Alice Schrodinger. A mindless, cold blooded murderer. You never refused an assassination contract, and killed whoever you were told. Now, you simply kill who you please! And on top of that, you have the gall to attack Santa!"

"Caelus. Everyone was having to wait on you to make a move, but instead they had to skip you just to keep the thread from dying!"

Did... Santa just break the fourth wall?

"Shishidlean Friggadotter. You are the sole reason your horrendous wretch of a sister still haunts this plane! Yet you do nothing to rid yourself and this world of her!"

"And Daniel Palmer."
"...I-... Where do I even begin? If I read down your file from beginning to end, we would be here until next Christmas! A thief! A murderer! Riot-Causer! Deceiver! Homosexual! You experiment with blood magic! Christs sake, you ransacked a Gaian church and robbed an archbishop of everything he possessed!"

"Yeah yeah, when'r you gettin' to the good stuff? Like when I attended the Red Festival and masqueraded as a cackling lunatic, butchered some of the townspeople they'd captured and ate a skewer of human meat to blend in, all so I could make off with all their stolen treasure? Or how I tracked down an entire bandit and highwaymen colony, and let Genipperteinga run wild? He PAINTED the place red. And then we took all their stuff? If you're firin' off the naughty list, why don't you throw out some of the highlights instead of the small time jobs? OR-"
Dan unsheathed his sword and dagger. Both glistened, their metal black as a nightmare. "-Alternatively, we could get this party started, And I could trim you down a few hundred pounds."

Edited by HollowCipher

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Shishidlean Friggadotter. You are the sole reason your horrendous wretch of a sister still haunts this plane! Yet you do nothing to rid yourself and this world of her!" 

"Horrendous!?" Shishi bellowed in rage, "Is that all you can say to my sister?!"

Shishi is angry. Angry because of Santa's poor use of words. Her sister had done more, much much more that not the term 'horrendous' is a gross understatement.

"You are wrong Santa!" she continued "My sister is not just horrendous-she's a fucking bitch! The sacking of Tormo! The Red Festival massacre! The invasion at Last Chance! The desruction of Tia! All the innocents killed under the Cult of Power! My sister is a goddamn mass murderer and terrorist!"

She paused then to catch her breath. It has been a while since she lost her temper and she hoped this will be the last time. There was so much more she could say but it won't matter anymore. Shishu's sister had paid for her crimes by dying. Her sister's selfless sacrifice at the frozen lands of Shawnee may not be enough to wash away her sins but that was enough for Shishi. After all, every saint was a sinner. And Shishi is no exception. 

"Every saint is a sinner Santa. And you're no exception, you patron saint of prostitutes!"

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Alice hissed as Santa caught the bullet between his thumb and index finger, crushing it between his digits and sending the destroyed projectile onto the floor with a faint "plink". Dude just caught a freaking bullet with his hand - at least it means that she was dealing with an enemy with certified bullet-time reflexes; and that is not good. "So we're all scumbags, what else is new?" the cat girl interjected as Santa read out the various reasons they all made his naughty list.


"Heh, Dan's talking my language, nya," Alice added as Daniel gave some highlights of his most gruesome acts. "It's true I've killed at my former superiors' behest without questioning them, but y'know, it's not like I have anything to feel sorry for putting death merchants, mafia bosses, pedophile priests and other scumbags six feet under," the cat girl would glance over at Shishi and give her a nod at her "every saint is a sinner" remark before continuing.


"You're just like those people I've ended; in public they'd put on their facade of kindness and piety with their charity donations and all, but behind closed doors... God, the things they do behind closed doors makes me sick," Alice shook her head as she tried to get the images of depravity out of her head. She may be a stone-cold killer, but even she had certain lines she refused to cross. As Dan unsheathed his blades, Alice would cackle as she crossed her arms Black Panther style, her nails growing in length and transforming into a set of wicked-looking claws. "Heh, since nothing we say can exonerate us from your naughty list, we might as well go down fighting, nya?"


She was certainly eager to sink her claws into her opponent's flesh at this point, but considering how nonchalantly he caught a bullet earlier, the cat girl wasn't about to recklessly throw herself at him, at least, not without the others attacking at the same time where they might hopefully be able to flank him in a blind spot.

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"Darre Sangria. You trespass on other people's private propertyat your leisure!"

She saw as she was proven right he had clearly gone mad

She had though this might had been simple but 

"Well its hardly avoidable when you travel alot especially here where apparently everybody is within your naughty so the question remains if no one is on then who will the nice list include?"

She reached her empty hand into another vortex and pulled out a shield of steel. She was almost ready to attack yet she'll rather defend herself for awhile since she knows nothing about his attacks and which type of attack he favors. So she held back and raised her shield, observing the red suited man that portrayed himself as Santa.

"By the way have you ever heard of Yin-Yang?! Not everyone is always pure not even you!"

as she prepared to jump away incase of a sudden bashing attack

Edited by Hurttoto

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On 1/8/2019 at 6:26 AM, Hurttoto said:

Not everyone is always pure not even you!


On 12/31/2018 at 10:14 AM, Lawman said:

You're just like those people I've ended; in public they'd put on their facade of kindness and piety with their charity donations and all, but behind closed doors... God, the things they do behind closed doors makes me sick


On 12/31/2018 at 6:19 AM, Thotification said:

Every saint is a sinner Santa. And you're no exception, you patron saint of prostitutes!

"SILENCE!!!  I am the one with the list here! I decide good and evil!!"

Santa seemed rather upset. Perhaps no one had ever had the balls to call him out before.
Perhaps, there was good reason for that.

"But, you are correct. There is little point in conversing any further. Let us skip to the part where Santa SLAUGHTERS THE NAUGHTY CHILDREN!!!"

Santa had a wicked look on his face. His fingers twitched. His grin widened. Something was coming.
After what would seem like an eternity to the poor murder victims, but in fact lasted about 6 seconds, Santa spoke again.

"On Dasher.
On Dancer.
On Prancer.
On Vixen.
On Comet.
On Cupid.
On Donner.
On Blitzen.
On Rudolph!"

The reins on Santa's reindeer vanished in a smoky mist. They all stamped their hooves and looked at their jolly old master for orders.
The deer leapt into action, each picking teammates and a target to kill. Each one was easily the size of a horse, though they didnt have the proportions of horses. They were far leaner, but one could easily tell from their muscular legs and dagger point antlers that this was not going to be an easy fight.



Prancer ran at Dan, who readied himself to counter. Though when he did, Prancer leapt at Dan, and vanished. Dan was confused, until he felt the air move behind him. He jumped into the air in a slow backwards arc, just barely dodging Prancer's charge. A moment later, and he would have been lethally impaled in at least 12 places.

While Dan was still in the air, however, something happened he most certainly did not expect. Donner appeared in a blur, and hoof stomped Dan back down to the ground.

What the FUCK? How was he that fast?!


Dan faced his two opponents, though now Donner was standing on two legs, taking a fighting stance. What was VERY concerning about this was that it was Dan's fighting stance. Precisely the same martial arts stance he took when he was fighting hand ho hand, right down to the foot-  to the hoof placement.

Dan was not about to take this kind of bullshit from venison, and fired off two wind blasts in a crescent shape by slashing his sword horizontally at the reindeer. One for each.


Two more reindeer faced Shishi, sizing her up, not thinking much of her at all. Vixen and Blitzen looked at each other for but a moment, and seemed to know exactly what to do.
Blitzen lowered his head, and aimed his antlers at Shishi. In rapid flashes of light, pinball sized projectiles shot from Blitzen's antlers at a frightening speed, and an alarming rate, nearing that of an MP40. All aimed directly at the little Maiden.

Vixen, on the other hand, just stood there, staring at Shishi. Why was she not getting involved right away?


Schrodinger's Cat had her share of problems too. Dasher took off running at her, moving at speeds impossible for normal eyes to have any hope of following. His aim was simple: Gore the kitty.

Comet pawed at the ground briefly, seemingly eyeing the kitty girl. All of a sudden, holes in space started appearing in droves all around Alice, and meteors slightly smaller than Volkswagon Beetles began raining out of them. The speed at which they flew at Alice was high, but not so fast to have no hope of following them.
Dasher weaved around the meteors seamlessly, none of them moving fast enough for HIM to have any concerns about. He lowered his horns, and prepared to skewer the pussy.


Darre had it the worst. She had not one, not even two, but THREE reindeer opponents. Dancer, Cupid, and Rudolph stood before her, preparing for the entirely one sided fight they were sure was about to occur.

Cupid locked eyes with Darre, as one would before a fight. However, all it took was that one instant, and his eyes flashed pink. In that instant, the image of Dan Palmer was seared into her mind. And suddenly, everything about him would seem so.... perfect. His messy hair, his brown eyes, his voice, that mischievous grin, the way he moved, the way he spoke, those dexterous fingers, those bare feet, everything about him would suddenly be hopelessly irresistible to Darre. 

Dancer trotted up toward Darre, and stood up on his hind legs. Then, in the most ridiculous bit of nonsense ever seen in this city, struck a pose, and began dancing like he was in a nightclub. The purpose of this would be clear as mud to everyone present, right up until Darre was stricken with an unassailable urge to dance as well.

Rudolph was delighted in his good luck. The ones with the debilitating powers both had the same target as him. The lead reindeer had a smug smirk on his face. This was going to be an easy kill.
He stared right at Darre, and his red nose started to shine brightly. The light bathed the area all around them, staining everything a crimson red.
Then came the photon beams fired like a laser cannon from his nose, aiming to turn Darre into a fine swiss cheese.

Fight Status:
Dasher: Active.
Dancer: Active.
Prancer: Active.
Vixen: Active.
Comet: Active.
Cupid: Active.
Donner: Active.
Blitzen: Active.
Rudolph: Active.

Current Active Effects:
Donner: Copycat. Donner has copied all of Dan's abilities, and has immediate access to all of them.
Cupid: Matchmaker. Darre is now irresistibly and obsessively in love with Dan. Dan is a heavy fog of romance in Darre's mind, and focusing on anything other than him is now staggeringly difficult.
Dancer: Let's Dance Boys! Darre is under the influence of Dancer's Dancing. All moves, be they attacks, defenses, or evades, must be written out as dance moves.

Edited by HollowCipher

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Her mind faded into much of a haze as she could no longer control herself, she seemed to be entrapped in a cage of love and dance. "Wow this is addicting" as she began spinning faster and faster. It was all so sudden she had lost most control over her body.

She was already dead as she thought, who knew it would have been here. A random world within the cosmos. 

Then the oddest thing happened, she heard a high pitch sound getting louder and louder, she also felt her left pocket sack vibrating violently. For a second she snsped bsck to reality, just in time to pull the shield in front of herself which reflected off of the shield and straight into dancer's left antler cutting nearly all of it clean off.

"Rude cherry nose he just wanted to dance" she said drunkly as the crystal silenced for a second yet after it resumed its sound she half focused lifted her sword "Sauk Auj"

The sword began to glow by now charging with electrical power the light being a bright blue in defiance of the red that came from Rudolph the 'cherry' nose rain deer 

"Time to get serious"


(Ill do the dice calculations later im currently extreamly busy by the time i write this)

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