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Malintzin

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I am back...ish.

It's been a really rough, fucked up week for lack of better words. No one was physically hurt, but those of us involved in the armed robbery agree we're not doing so well mentally or emotionally. So please, please-please-please bear with me moving forward. Please be kind, please be patient, and please don't take anything hard if I snap or get frustrated. I have been told I'll be overbearingly emotional for seemingly no reason. I may experience triggers, I might just disappear for a little time. It's just going to happen and to just let it happen.

Just...please be understanding. Please. I had a very twitchy man with a gun pressed to my head. I had four screaming children and a newborn scared out of their minds with their mother and my coworker and one other lady. I was tied up and dragged into our bathroom with eight other people while screaming and begged for my life.

I'm not okay.

I will be starting therapy soon and--it's not my favorite thing in the world, but even I know my limits.

I will be working on writing up some posts between tonight and tomorrow, and should be able to get them up by Sunday. It helps distract me. Tonight was my first night back and it still shook me badly to even have to step foot near that bathroom and I'll probably put in an official resignation.

The worst part is that when our manager practically begged the DM for security cameras in our store, we were denied because the company didn't have the budget for them.

They didn't have the budget.

Our safety and livelihood just aren't in the budget! =D

I wrote a scathing letter to the CEO. Damned if I do and damned if I don't, I guess?

I don't know. I'm tired. I'm really, really tired. I took off for half the week and thankfully the new job is mega understanding and even offering everything under the sun to help where they can.  Wednesday was hard--people thought I was out for health reasons.

At first I didn't want to go through it again. I even snapped at someone and told them I didn't have to explain my trauma to them. People felt obligated to know, I guess? Nosiness. The suspect(s) are still at large but they do have the guy who got us' face and they're looking for him and other suspects. They think it may have been 3-5 people but no arrests yet.

Biggest and bestest thanks to Francesco, Tyler and Dan for talking me through some of the worst of it and checking in on me.

Even laying it all out like this has me crying but it's going to be okay. It may take a hell of a time, but it'll eventually be okay.

In the meantime, I'm moving forward with posts and projects alike. RPing here is my source of normalcy and I talk about Valucre to others beyond it fondly and often. This is home for me! I like it here and I want to stay and enjoy as much of my time here as I can.

But I will apologize in advance if I am short-tempered or worse. Just try and be patient with me while I work through it.

 

Love you guys! ❤️

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