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notmuch_23

The pigs gotta die!

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The citizens of Lunaris are piiiiised! Even though jungle pigs have invaded Taen a long time ago, the native carnivores have kept their numbers in check. Recently, their population exploded, and their war with the zkriz'ka population spilled over into Lunaris.

Now, a crowd of citizens surround the City Hall, shouting at the government.

"Those fucking pigs ravaged my pasture!"

"They ate my whole garden!"

"They killed my baby!"

"We can't go outside safely!"

Then one person starts a chant.

"Pigs out now! Pigs out now! Pigs out now!"

As chants normally do, this one also catches on with the surrounding people.

"PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW!"

It isn't long until the entire crowd is chanting "PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW! PIGS OUT NOW!"

@danzilla3

Edited by notmuch_23

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Sebastian sat on the stage and patiently listened to his citizens air their grievances; most of which involved a horde of wild pigs. He was no stranger to the ire of those who showed up to these meetings. This however seemed different. In his time as Governor he had rarely seen the populace as incensed as they were right now. But he supposed it was natural; given the havoc the creatures were wreaking. But he had already been forming a plan before today's meeting, Now he just needed the audience to quiet down long enough for him to lay it out.

The swordsman rose to his feet and slammed the tip of his sheathed sword down into the wooden stage. A sound like a gunshot rang out through the room, and the masses quickly grew silent. 

"I would like to thank you all for coming here to inform us of this problem. We are of course aware of it, and are working on a solution. In fact, our solution just walked through the door. You have the floor Thurgood, Aveline."

@notmuch_23

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"Finally," Thurgood says as he and Aveline make their way to the stage.

"Okay, one a them fuckin pigs jumped through the windshield of my trock and made me crash it, destroying some expensive equipment in the process, but chanting won't get the fuckers outta here," Aveline says, "and they sure as fuck won't leave on their own. So, we can either hope the zkriz'ka population takes care of 'em-"

"Or we can hunt down and murder every single motherfuckin green hog we can find!" Thurgood shouts.

Aveline glared at Thurgood.

"Whaaaat? I thought ypu were sett'n me up! Am I wrong? Wasn't that where you were going?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't gonna say it...

...so evil though," Aveline replies before turning to the crowd, "but yeah: we gotta become these pigs' new predator and pick up the zkriz'ka's slack. To that end, we're offering prizes to those who can kill the highest weight, and we'll have special sales on arms and ammo."

"So kill the hogs! Kill the hogs! Kill the hogs! Kill the hogs! Kill the hogs! Kill the hogs!" Thurgood chants as he walks through the crowd. Just like before, it catches on.

Aveline waits for the crowd to leave, then turns to Sebastian. "I'ma get the word out as far as I can. If the problem is as bad as I think it is, we're gonna need some outside help."

Let the hunt begin!

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Fortunately, not all the solar panels were destroyed; only one was, three retain partial functionality, and the rest are fine, and the ones that weren't now augment the array rising out of the low clouds, and good thing too: the Mil Dot Lunaris needs that power now more than ever!

Aveline is busy registering people for the contest, Thurgood is constantly taking loads up from their underground storage, Mark and Roy work the sales terminals, Vivian and Nadia retrieve items behind the countet, Bob amd Osiria are preparing the pig meat they already have, and Aveline assigned Lithist to basically a gunsmithing role.

Of course, there is pig meat in the barbecue pit, on the stove, in the oven, in the freezers, and the menu is packed with pork dishes. Other restaurants are doing the same for the hunt, and in all sorts of stores, there are huge stocks of canning jars and pressure cookers to preserve all the meat that will be sure to come from the swine genocide.

((Tagging all those that stated interest:

@Akiris @Tyler @The Rabbit Emperor @The Alexandrian @Thotification @Vilhardt))

Edited by notmuch_23

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Spoiler

 

What a turnout!  One.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Five.  Six.  Seven.  Eight.  House Singlance couldn't have divined, when organizing what was to be a community hunt, that eight titanic weretigers would bust out of the woodwork and take the jungle by storm.  Eight petite catgirls, decked out in Aloha attire - floral-patterned Hawaiian shirts and cutesy muumuus, fragrant leis, comfy sandals, touristy cargo shorts, and concealing shades - had arrived in Lunaris yesterday and defibrillated the local rumor mill with their ghoulish infatuation with Xer'Orians and hunting Xer'Orians and abducting Xer'Orians and dissecting Xer'Orians, but no one, not even the sleep-deprived hotelier they devoted half of the evening to bugging with their incessant questions about life in Lunaris and Xer'Orian colonies in proximity to Lunaris and research into the psychic abilities of Xer'Orian queens and princesses, had pegged the maddening team for a pack of terrifying werecreatures.  There was something off about the catgirls, that much everyone agreed on, but weretigers?  Hah!  They were so tiny!

Oh, the weretigers aren't kaiju-sized by any stretch of the imagination.  They wouldn't scale a skyscraper with starlets screeching in the palms of their hands.  They didn't have to worry about mashing people underfoot as they walked.  They couldn't climb regular trees, but they didn't dwarf them either.  They could, however, play catch with cars, and they would surely demolish an all-you-can-eat buffet.  They gave elephants a run for their money.  Not much in the jungle would willingly tangle with them, least of all jungle piggies.

The leader of the exotic bunch is, apparently, a white-furred weretiger with sparkling pink eyes.  If you can see past her intimidating height, she appears astonishingly cuddly and incontestably adorable.  Her fur shimmers in the sunlight.  Sleek yet muscular, nimble and mighty, the weretiger saunters up to the registration line.  Although this weretiger, Cammy Sorina, is content to wait in line like everyone else, the amateur hunters dividing Cammy from Aveline take one look at Cammy and scatter to the four corners of the world.  They aren't willing to risk Cammy's wrath.  Cammy seems absolutely oblivious to their uneasiness, shooting them her patented cheery weretiger grin... which, admittedly, causes her to appear as if she is baring her teeth at them.  Withdrawing hunters pick up the pace, all but running to clear of her path.  This native population - or, more accurately, this naturalized population - is exceedingly hospitable, Cammy notes as she steps up to the desk and hunches over in an effort to read whatever forms are lying about.

Hi!  I'm Cammy!  You're Aveline, right?  You attended that thingy at Cae's place awhile ago.  Yeah, we're here to help you with your piggy problem in exchange for the location of some of those nefarious Xer queens that try to invade you guys every so often.  Win-win, right?  A-nya-way, I heard that those piggies you guys want to murder the faces off of jumped you the other day, so I thought that, y'know, since you seem like a nice lady, I'd ask you how much you want those piggies to bleed before they snuff it, because we can do all sorts of horrible things to them so that they'll die in unimaginable agony!

Uh...  Your considerate offer probably isn't helping your case any, Cammy.  On top of that, Cammy sounds like, well, a giant, monstrous kitty.  She hasn't given Aveline a solid reason to shy away from her, but getting away from the pack of weretigers is quickly becoming a fad.

Cammy's striped, orange-ish followers lumber over to the gunsmith and check out the wares House Singlance is marketing.  They point to any exceptionally meaty weapons - anything that could have been mounted on a vehicle as a turret or gun battery - and whisper conspiratorially to each other.  If any big fricking guns are available, one of the weretigers, with a giggle, tosses the vendor a heavy coin purse.

Gimme as much gun as that can buy, please!  I wanna make things explode into a spray of blood, giblets, and gore!

Yeah, these girls are gonna make bacon out of those jungle pigs.  Not literally, of course, for they are weretigers.  Weretigers don't have to cook pork before they consume it.

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Anthropomorphic tigers. Still not the strangest thing Aveline has seen. After all, she did speak with Torie, that morbidly obese one.

"Xer?" Aveline says, "Never tangled with 'em, but I do know that Totenborough does have a tunnel that at least led into one of their colonies; had to fend off a huge attack from 'em last year. Never saw a queen or princess though, so she may still be in there. Apparently the whole Sierra Ossa is teeming with Xer."

Then she consideres the second part of this anthro white tiger's spiel. "Don't care how ya off 'em, but if ya wanna enter the contest, it's based on total weight you can bring back here," she says, motioning to the large platform steel-yard-based scale, "so completely shredding them may not be the best strategy. If ya don't care about the contest though, do wha'chya want with 'em."

Mark Morrison, a light-skinned human past about middle age, opens the bag of coins, and starts counting. "Whelp, d'ya wanna worry about batteries?" he asks, thinking about three particular items: a GAU-19 .50 BMG electric Gatling, a Mark 19, a fully-automatic 40 mm belt-fed grenade launcher, and a Browning M2, the original .50 BMG machine gun, and the round's namesake, even though they're for either vehicle mounts or emplacements.

Edited by notmuch_23

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Sebastian had finished five large plates filled with all manner of pork and showed no signs of stopping as the hunters gathered. Ever since he had bonded with the Hydra his appetite had increased exponentially. Aveline and Thurgood's barbecue was one of his favorites; since it was delicious, and they tended to serve it in large quantities. He had no idea why his hunger had grown so fierce, but it was a small price to pay for what he had gained. Grabbing another plate, he rose and walked over to where the siblings were talking to another hunter.

"Xer are rarely seen outside Sierra Ossa since the Battle of Totenborough. I'm told there's some kind of super predator keeping them from coming out of the mountains like they used to."

He turned to Thurgood, "I won't be participating in the contest. You've seen what's left after I do my thing."

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12 hours ago, danzilla3 said:

"I won't be participating in the contest. You've seen what's left after I do my thing."

"Yeah, I do," Thurgood replies, "but somebody's gotta eat all this pig meat too."

Thurgood then rolls the manual pallet jack he was using into the "back", looking at the empty pallets where quart-sized mason jars full of canned pork stew, bacon in lard, and ham & beans, all perfectly preserved, all very reasonably priced, used to be, before pulling out another pallet of ham & beans out to replace one of the pallets, still warm from being sterilized in the pressure cooker. At leat the pigs didn't manage to destroy the potato and carrot crops, and even with the import distance, dried beans are never very expensive.

The Mil Dot is also offering store credit for pig carcasses; admittedly not much per pound, since they still need butchering and processing, but it can help offset the cost of ammo, and the hunter doesn't need to deal with it. There are also other places in Lunaris buying pig carcasses of course.

But the empty pallets fairly quickly get replaced, and one new one comes out: sausage links in brine. Thurgood then washes his hands, puts on his apron, and starts helping Bobby and Osiria in the kitchen, and of course, manning the pit. Nadia puts the price signs on the stacked and temporarily secured pallets of jars.

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There's a spooky tunnel in Totenborough that leads to the untamed Sierra Ossa and a super predator preying on the Xer'Orians that/who call Sierra Ossa their home...

What fun, Cammy thinks, crystallized devilry gleaming in her eyes!  That locale had to be a free fire zone, so Cammy and her friends wouldn't have to hold back like they do in populated areas!  They could maul and maim and murder that super predator and melt its eyes until they are no more than shiny rivulets of goop rolling down its lacerated flesh!  Hee hee hee!  They could liquefy its bones without putting it out of its misery and watch it convulse, a puddle of flesh writhing in the muck!  Of course, they would never do that!  They could never be so cruel!

No, seriously, they probably (probably) wouldn't do that.  That would be Yh'mi levels of "rats in the walls" and "the window, the window."  Then again, this was Taen and Yh'mi is right over that-a-way.  Yeah, they would totally vivisect that poor beast.  That they would, and with much gusto!

Aveline ought to be grateful that she can't read Cammy's mind when Cammy drifts into la-la land.  Cammy's eyes don't glaze over; she just stares into empty air and beams at the horrors immured in the void for a few seconds before her stomach impatiently grumbles, hounding the hungry weretiger until she literally shakes herself free of that terrifying darkness thriving within her.  Guh!  Did anyone see that?  That'll teach her to skip breakfast!  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, you know.  Breakfast is definitely more important than the lunch and dinner Cammy skipped yesterday.  What was she doing again?  Oh, right, she was speaking to Aveline, and there was a contest!

You mentioned a contest!  This contest wouldn't happen to have fabulous prizes, would it?  I love fabulous prizes!

Cammy, taking great care not to - oops...

Cammy, taking the long path around Aveline's station so she doesn't accidentally kick it again, draws near Aveline's scale.  Carefully, ever so carefully, she reaches out and pokes it.  She has an idea.  A terrible idea.  Cammy has a terribly gluttonous idea.

So if I want fabulous prizes, and I do want fabulous prizes, all I have to do is bring pigs back here.  I shouldn't shred the pigs because then they won't weigh as much, but can I weigh myself, invade the jungle, nom pigs, and then weigh myself again?  I'll have to rent a cart for the corpses otherwise.  Food would be nice, but I went a week without food once and I didn't die from that.

Food or prizes?  Prizes or food?  Cammy can't decide which she wants more.  Her stomach has no such dilemma.  It growls insistently.  Food is necessary for survival, but what if the prize is a new ribbon?  A really pretty one with sequins!  Oh!  This is so hard!  All of the pork products around here smell so delectable!  Maybe Aveline or that one guy who said that thing about the Xer could decide for her.  In desperation, Cammy looks to Aveline to guide her.

Should I try to win a prize?


Mark Morrison is lucky.  Mark Morrison doesn't have to contend with ridiculous weretiger-catgirl drama.  Mark Morrison only has to contend with average weretiger-catgirl drama.

His customer may have given him enough coin to cover the sale, but she hasn't yet given him an answer to his question.  She gazes up at the sky, meditating on his question.  Batteries?  She studies the jungle beyond the clearing.  Batteries.  Does she want to worry about batteries?

Naw.  I'd just drop them in the mud or swallow them.  Besides, I don't think they sell ammo for battery guns in Hell's Gate.  If they do, it has to be expensive.  I can't imagine shooting batteries at monsters without everything getting really expensive really fast.

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Despite the rifle resembling a fully blackened metal AK-47 slung over her back, Isidor naturally failed to stand out amid the aspiring hunters. There was the bizarre, there was the interesting and then there was just another woman in practical attire who believed that orange was a great color for not being mistaken for a pig. The vest and ballistic helmet on the other hand...

Now before we part ways and I head to the continents literal asshole, theres some ground rules before you go all out and bend mother nature over a desk. Wear these. They will be giving retards guns. The amount of dumbasses that are going to get shot trying to be stealthy will not be in the single digits.....

Well, Ed was in his 'you fucking better' mode and as usual that ended in a threat to sell her body to necrophiliacs if Isidor died in a manner that could be termed retarded. Now that might have seemed like an empty threat, but they did live in Predators Keep. That place got a lot of freaks that had quickly realized that registering thier magic to the expanding Safeguard was a surefire way to get hunted down and at least jailed.

Here, this ex-Blairville girl could drag the local fauna out of thier holes for cooking experiments and have it be considered a public service.... Instead of serial murder.

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17 hours ago, The Alexandrian said:

but can I weigh myself, invade the jungle, nom pigs, and then weigh myself again?

"Uh, no" Aveline says, "I have no way of knowing if it's jungle pig you ate, or a bunch of fruit, zkriz'ka meat, a shitload of large pizzas, or something else other than jungle pig."

Then she thinks of something else.

"You cannot puke anything out to weigh either."


"Doesn't shoot the batteries, it jus'..." Mark starts, then thinks. "Nah, ah think the Ma Deuce would be better in dis case. Hey boss, think ya can help me here?"

Thurgood then goes to the back of the counter to help Mark lift the very heavy machine gun to the anthro tiger.

"Won't need a food processor with this fucker!" Thurgood says, "may be a bit overkill, but 'specially in this case, ain't no kill like it!"

Isdor is right though, she does blend in with the other hunters.

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Cammy cranes her neck forward and listens intently to Aveline.  She said...  And then...

Like, ouch!  That was hurtful!  Cammy isn't a stereotype; she's a person!  Crestfallen, the giant white tiger sits down in the dirt and mopes.

So you assume that since I'm a catgirl I must be bulimic.  And as a catgirl, I must be an adorable bimbo who can't distinguish between jungle pigs and fruit because they're sometimes the same color.

Why are you so mean?  I'm not a bad person, and I don't -

Gasps!  An epiphany crashes into Cammy's mind and derails her train of thought.  What if... What if these pigs are indistinguishable from a bunches of fruit and only someone with extensive training, like Aveline, can tell the difference between them!  Yes, that could...  No, wait.  What kind of fruit looks like pigs and large pizzas?  Then again, this is Taen and Yh'mi is right over that-a-way.  Pig-pizza-fruit could very well exist, and it could even taste like pigs, pizza, and fruit.  What type of pizza, though?  For that matter, what type of fruit?  Did tomatoes count as fruit?  If tomatoes were already on the pizza, would they be excluded from the fruit-taste?  Whatever it tastes like, it sounds so good right now.  Her mouth is watering at the mere thought of it.

That tears it!  Cammy needs to sample some of this legendary pig-pizza-fruit.

Sorry,butIhavetojet!Kthxbye!

Jumping jalopies, that girl can move when she wants something!  One second, she is sitting in front of Aveline looking like she's been left out in pouring rain, and she has disappeared into the treeline the next!  Who even does that?


Confusion overtakes the weretiger.

Ma Deuce?

What?  What is that?  Should she just grab it like -  DAMN!  That is heavy!  How?  How are normal people supposed to carry armaments of this magnitude?  She isn't supposed to rivet that to her arm, is she?

I'm just gonna...  Follow Cammy so she doesn't kill everything in the jungle or summon an eldritch abomination that will eradicate the other hunters even though its intended mission is to disintegrate piggies.  Later.

Here goes nothing!  The weretiger picks up Ma Deuce.  Actually, this isn't so bad.  Her sword easily weighs at least twice what this does.  Totally worth it for the sheer level of dakka this monster probably puts out.  Boy, will she be in for a surprise when she learns the phrase heavy machine gun doesn't refer to the weapon's weight!

Edited by The Alexandrian

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13 minutes ago, The Alexandrian said:

So you assume that since I'm a catgirl I must be bulimic.  And as a catgirl, I must be an adorable bimbo who can't distinguish between jungle pigs and fruit because they're sometimes the same color.

"No, it's to prevent cheating;" Aveline says, "when there's something to win, there are always people who will try to cheat, an-"

Then the white tiger rushes out of the store.


13 minutes ago, The Alexandrian said:

I'm just gonna...  Follow Cammy so she doesn't kill everything in the jungle or summon an eldritch abomination that will eradicate the other hunters even though its intended mission is to disintegrate piggies.  Later.

"Wait!" Mark shouts as Thurgood brings up two heavy, metal ammo boxes, "you're gonna need the...

...ammo..."

There goes that one too, Maybe one of the other companions can pick the belts up. That Browning M2 will be useless without them.

Edited by notmuch_23

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The last time she had been anywhere near Taen was during that questionable garden event that was laden with traps. The shield that she had received as an award felt more like a consolation prize for enduring all of the nefarious trappings than a true reward which had always left a sour taste in her mouth. She felt the entirety of Taen had much more to offer her and today she would begin to see how much. Having heard of the infestation and the public unrest, she saw this as ample opportunity to inject herself as an asset and redeem this land from its current predicament.

Ilyana had sent Aislyn ahead seemingly on a whim to do some scout work for the Redeemer. Having placed herself in the passionate meeting concerning the pig problem that was quickly devolving, Aislyn immediately noticed Sebastian who seemed to command some authority and then diverted everyone’s attention to the Singlance duo. She mentally noted their appearances and then joined in with the crowd, finding some mild amusement about the notion that this was all for some pigs. All she knew was that Hell’s Gate wouldn’t have let this problem get so far.

-----------------------

Ilyana had traveled here alongside the group of weretigers led by Cammy Sorina but soon split paths to begin planning her approach. The unique abilities of Cammy’s group were beneficial, but their lack of diplomatic awareness would only get them so far. She wouldn’t dare believe that she had been sent here by Lady Glasmann to simply babysit. At least that was not how both Nines and Caeceila framed the suggestion that she travel here for her. Trusting the process, Ilyana would place herself near Cammy during most of her conversations with Sebastian and Aveline, overhearing much of the information concerning the Xer’Orian.

As soon as Cammy hurries off, Ilyana catches her movement and just smirks before approaching Aveline. “I’ve always wanted to visit the Mil Dot Lunaris. I know a few firearms enthusiasts that would love to acquire some of your wares. Have you ever thought of expanding your reach?” Ilyana was completely garbed in a shimmering black bodysuit that clung to her curves, with her hair tied up in a ponytail. She didn’t seem like she was equipped to join this hunt as she had no visible weaponry or hunting equipment. Ilyana was aware that she had not bothered introducing herself but doubted that it would matter little to the Singlances right now given their open invitation to all sorts of outside assistance.

@notmuch_23

---------------------

Aislyn meanwhile had grabbed a plate with a variety of meaty entrees after paying for them and decidedly sat next to Sebastian as he ate. With a warm smile, her brown hair hanging at her sides, she settles herself into her seat with a noticeable shake of her body. With a low-cut blouse and knee length skirt, it was clear that she was not here to go hunting….at least not for pigs. Her melodic voice flows from her voice as she starts talking to Sebastian now.

“You seem rather hungry today, governor. This pig problem might be a blessing in disguise for you.”

She giggles at her own attempt at a joke and then takes a small bite of her meal, somewhat excited to see what sort of meals places outside of Hell’s Gate have to offer.

@danzilla3

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1 hour ago, Dolor Aeternum said:

Have you ever thought of expanding your reach?”

"We have," Aveline replies, "but after spending so much time in Ursa Madeum trying to establish ourselves just to have the Empire suddenly withdraw after Emperor Demetrius died...

...left us reeling. We're more or less regrouping after that..."

What Aveline didn't say is that they need a domestic supplier; i.e. on this planet. After this whole pig problem gets managed, she wants to travel to the Norkotian Union with some of these arms to strike a deal with one or more arms makers there.

"So ya wanna sign up for the contest?"

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