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It Takes a Thief To Catch a Thief [Hyperion Quest] [Solo]

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After a bit of travelling, Dan arrived in Hyperion. It was a pretty big city, more than he had anticipated. However, given the nature of where he came from and what was going on with him, Dan was less than thrilled with the name. Still, as long as Hyperion didn't actually show up in the city, there wouldn't be a problem. 

His little birds had told him that apparently, someone had been committing acts of grand larceny against Hyperion, stealing dragon eggs. Strangely enough, Hyperion did not like their dragon eggs being stolen, and were offering a reward to anyone who found the thieves, and brought back the eggs. Interestingly, nothing made any mention about what to do about the thieves themselves. Dan assumed that they simply didn't care, and thought that if they wanted to kill the thieves, they could go right ahead.

After walking about for a good while, and deciding this place is a definite candidate for a heist later, Dan decided to head to the military district. That, at the very least, would be a place to start looking for someone to talk to about the bounty.

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As Dan entered the military district, he was met with.... well, exactly what he expected to be met with. Soldiers training, Soldiers drinking, and Soldiers showing off to each other, which Dan assumed was to compensate for their tiny genitals.  Or because they were drunk, it could be either one, really.

It took Dan nearly an hour of wandering around, getting looks from several people, which he knew were due to either his age, or the fact that he was barefooted. He didnt know which, and he didn't care. But he finally found someone who he assumed was in charge, or close enough, as he was shouting instructions to a workout routine.
He tapped the man, and he turned, seemingly slightly irritated that his ordering a bunch of people was being interrupted. Dan could tell just by looking at him that this was the kind of person who shouldn't be in charge of ANYONE, let alone a platoon. This is someone who valued themselves and their opinion FAR too much.

"Hm? Whatchu want, kid? This place is off limits to civilians."
Dan feigned ignorance.
"I am so sorry. I did not know. If I see one, I shall inform you immediately."

Judging by his face twitches, Dan surmised the man was thinking something along the lines of 'Oh great, a smartass'.

"At any rate, I heard of a problem here, something about someone stealing dragon eggs? I'm here to deal with it."

The man was highly amused by this, and leaned down"

"Look kid, thats something for grown-ups to worry about. You need to go home before it gets dark, and your parents start to worry. Come back when you've got some facial hair, and we'll talk. I've got people workin' on this, don't worry about it."

As he turned back around, a vein pulsed in Dan's temple.

"Do not talk down to me, you drooling mongoloid. Anyone with any sort of talent would have wrapped this up by now. I've heard of this thing MONTHS ago, and you are so goddamn incompetent you have no leads at ALL. So you'll forgive me if I'm less than impressed with the 'grown ups' doing gym class I see here, and their useless commander."

Dan saw every muscle on the leader tense in anger.
Perfect.

He turned back around, eerily calm.

"Alright you little shit. I'll tell you what. You beat me, hand to hand, right now, I'll let you go on this little mission. I'll even give you my paycheck. Sound good?"

Just as Dan's Hermes child street smarts told him. He couldn't stand someone questioning him. Gods, people in charge were so easy to read.

"Sounds good to me."

The man took his shirt off, and subtly flexed, thinking both that Dan would be intimidated by this, and thinking that Dan would notice that he was trying to be intimidating. Both failed.

"Uh, sir! Perhaps you should not fight that boy! Harming civilians is against code, sir!"

Amazing. This was someone who had sense. Dan made a mental note to ensure that guy got this one's job.

"I don't give a damn, no one's gonna know I beat the shit outta some brat. He's trespassing anyway."

"Yeah, don't worry about it. No civilian's getting harmed here."

Dan dropped his backpack and both his swords, then his dagger.He wasn't about to give Him the option to kill this guy.

"Ready when you are, jackass."

The man came at Dan, clearly not caring to hold back against a teenager. Not that it would make any difference.
He threw a haymaker, and Dan easily dodged it, and gave a condescending slap to the man's arm.
The man tried again, this time to grab Dan. He was sure he had him, but his hands grabbed nothing. He looked around, and saw that Dan was off to the side by 3 feet, checking his nails. Not even paying attention to the captain.

At this point, the captain was well enraged. This kid was making a fool of him in front of his platoon!

"Hey! Is dodging me all you can do?!"

Dan however, was as calm and condescending as he could possibly be.

"Is missing me all you can do?"

Several of the platoon started snickering at that.

Dan dodged another punch with a sidestep and thrust his right fist over his shoulder behind him. This caught the captain's mouth. Dan didnt put an overly big amount of force behind it, but it was enough to make him taste blood.
Dan quickly ducked the following grab attempt, and swept the mans legs from under him from behind. As he fell, Dan slammed his fist into his solar plexus at half his top speed. While it wouldn't knock him out, it was enough to knock the wind out of him.

He didn't even have to use any of his powers besides speed. No wonder this city needed outside help if THIS was who they put in charge. He took a few steps back to let him catch his breath.

The man got up, and saw his platoon barely holding in laughter.
"Wipe those damn smiles off your faces! I swear to god, I-"

"You about done getting your shit together over there? Cuz I'm starting to get bored."

And that was the line that made the captain snap.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU HALF PINT LITTLE SHIT?!"

Dan was unimpressed.
"I said I'm bored. You're boring me."

The captain roared, and yanked a table up, preparing to smash it over Dan's head, apparently not realizing that if his fists weren't working, there was no reason why the table would.
Dan took this moment, and rushed forward, and hid his fist in the captain's diaphragm at full speed. This, would be enough to make him start hemorrhaging. The captain fell backward on his back, unconscious.

Dan gave him a prod with his foot.
"Okay, who's second in command?"

The guy from earlier stood up.
"I-I am...Sir."
"While I am a Commander, I'm not YOUR commander. Formality is not required here."
"Yes, Sir-...Ah, what IS your name?"
Dan gave a theatrical bow. "Dan Palmer. Alchemist, Demigod, Commander, and Monster Hunter. And several other titles I'd rather not name."

The Corporal nodded, left, and returned with a a folder.

"This is what we have found out so far. That said, I would ask you not to mention what our Captain did to anyone."

Dan simply nodded, took the folder, and left. He hoped very much that the rest of the job would be this easy.

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